It’s been a week since professional anti-Semite, nuisance phone caller and alleged ‘common law lawyer’ Patrick Cullinane was found dead at his home in Harrow Weald, and after a brief moment of calm amongst the troofers who worshipped him, rumours of foul play have once again begun to run amok.
It seemed, for a moment or two, that Mr Cullinane’s sister’s calm and rational explanation of his death—got out of bed, had massive heart attack, snuffed it—had actually calmed the fruit loop brigade (well, as calm as they ever get), but over the past couple of days new allegations have begun to crop up.
We know we can always rely upon Neelu’s fervid imaginings to help wind up the nutters, and sure enough, here’s what she was saying yesterday:
First: why is this dated April 2014? Has Neelu’s Magickal Mystery Time Travel Machine finally arrived from the mail-order catalogue?
Second: whenever a person prefaces a sentence with, “Now I do not want to offend his family at this time…” you know damn good and well they’re about to, well, offend his family. Sure enough….
Neelu seems to have regressed back to her missing persons theory (completely explicable by the fact that she asked the wrong bloody police station), this time with a bit of a twist.
Now, rather than Mr Cullinane wandering the streets of North London in his nightshirt and slippers, and bellowing, “You can stick your ambulance up your arse!” at helpful passers-by (sorry, but that’s just how we imagine it), Neelu is saying he was “possibly kidnapped on Thursday under the pretence of the meeting, he was taken to an unknown location and returned possibly already dead to his home Friday 5pm”.
How does Neelu know this? Why, she consulted three psychos, who told her all about it!
She would be in good company here, as another of her heros, Kevin Annett, seems to believe that such things as “police-trained psychics” exist:
Sure, makes perfect sense to us. After all, police budgets being what they are, they practically have money to burn! Why not throw a few quid at some pendulum-waving loony and see what turns up? After all, gathering evidence and witness statements and all that is just so old-school, not to mention time-consuming.
Neelu isn’t the only one making grim speculations about Mr Cullinane’s demise or lack thereof: Angela Fag-Ash Disney is on the case as well:
Angie will see Neelu’s “kidnapped and returned dead” theory, and raise her a “not dead but gone underground for security reasons”. (We’re going to skip the inevitable “gone underground” joke, you can thank us later).
Angie, of course, doesn’t hold with psychics and soothsaying and other such black arts; she merely states that her “possible misinfo red herring reports” are “coming in”. From where? Does it matter?
The point is, Mr Cullinane is no more. Bereft of life, he rests in peace; he is an ex-anti-Semite and common law lawyer. However, we suppose he’d be pleased that his disciples are carrying on the grand tradition of seeing conspiracies around every corner.
It’s really the ultimate tribute to a man whose anti-Semitic paranoia made him a legend in his own time.