Fruitcake Quotes

The following malapropisms were all uttered/written by our distinguished counterparts over the Hoaxtead fence.

So put aside your indifferences, grab a cuppa and enjoy these gems of wordsmithery…

“The emperor’s got no clothes”

“Impolitically correct”

“You’ve worked your fingernails to the bone”

“The police were so futile to themselves”

“Our intentions are ignoble”

“Those who despitefully use you”

“He speaks with folk tongue”

“I can’t work with this level of idiocity”

“Don’t throw unnecessary allegories our way”

“Swaps don’t drain themselves”

“To horn in on what’s worth pursuing”

“I will not be putting Arthur on a pedalstool”

“My grandkids are auctioning today for roles in a movie”

“I relish you have concerns”

“Dilutions of grandeur”

“The word for the day is militant ignorance”

“So as David Livingstone I think it was said, I am going into the jungle – I may be some time”

“Your atrocious murder of the English language indicates you might have went to school in the US”

“You shout learn how to spell”

“We need to put aside our indifferences”


“Dicky Rearman will slip up one day and get his just deserves.”


“I know it’s a mute point…”

“I’m not even gonna mention their website, coz I really don’t wanna give them any more intention than they have.”

“Contact the Law Society if you had hair frolic tests carried out by this company”

“The harsh treatment metered out”

“From my up and coming film”

“We were at the Royal Court’s Injustice yesterday.”

“We are using high profile cases to set a president”

“I am supported by Amomynous”


“That’s a rhetorical question and the answer is yes”

“You’re morons. Period. You’re morons”

“I’m going to be lended some money”

“You’ve got a 98% of dying”

“Smooth FM is sponsored by Cancer Reshirt”

“They had to give her antibotics”

“It was catastrotic”

“They had to aminister it”

“You can’t harry love”

“Imagine if we all got together and conjugated outside the council building”

“We need to shove all those stick bastards back through our tunnel”

“God is our crater.”

“The USA has at least an ongoing investigation and arrests with this Pizzagate sandal”

“I’ve been pursing the fat cats”

“This problem is around the World. It’s endemic”

“He’s banning together with other ex-police officers”

“She has courage up the kazoo”

“Am battling mouth access at the moment”

“Cognitive dissidents”

“They have another think coming”

“We know the Zionists had their hands in that pie”

“Crimes have reached endemic proportions”

“A nation like Africa”

“Africa, the most resource-rich nation on this planet”

“Particularly countries like Africa”

“The profits that are made through robbing other countries, like Africa”

“What is the fuck going on?”

“Moreover, the article correctly refers to my being charred with a breach of the peace”

“Justice will be prevailed”

“Whey to go, Tracey”

“Freemasons, you’re supposed to be a paternity, aren’t you?”

“How can it be fake news, dingo berry?”

“We’ve seen the children’s testaments”

“It would be better to have a heavy milestone hung around his neck and drown in the depths of the sea”

“And suddenly there’s police offices coming to get Grandmother.”

“The guy has an ulterior motif”

“Something is aloof here”

“Extreme emotional mood swings, indicating a very unstable state of mine”

“At least you weren’t reported by a fiend”

“Telling the truth never was your strong suite”

“The gold was quarantined under the Indonesian Ocean”

“I’ve got one word to say to you, Daily Mirror: FUCK OFF!”

“Jim Humble doesn’t promote giving bleach enemies to children”

“I won’t name him…His name’s Tony”

“Christian is a made up phrase”

“Have all these satin worship people been stopped?”

“He made remarks to me about my ‘eyes’ but he didn’t mean the ones in my head”

“Chemtrails – there were none of these in the sixteens”

 “All your pedos are belong to us”

“One thing that the EU did provide to Britain was cheap medicines and cheap food”

“Use you brain a little”

“FBI – what does that stand for? Nobelts, Cunts and Assholes?”

“Remember – trolling is an art and I am Picassio”

“Kris Kosta aka Jacqui Framer”

“This is literally 1984”

“When you’re a Lady in the House of Commons, what do they call you?”

“These people are like rabbits – they ride bicycles and wear woolly hats”

“Under the Treason Act of 1776 if you say ‘Boo’ to God, you are hung”

“I am unto you, Dearman”

“Who’s gonna talk about the elephant on the table?”

“It’s coming down like a house of dominoes”

“This World has become asphalted over like some huge galactic condom”

“Admitting defeat is too strong a word”

“The masses have been dumb down”

“They can’t shut us up. How many times have I got arrested for exposure?”

“Fine to share from my end”

“He missed his vocabulary in life”

“They will be changing their names by depot”

“You’re just a bunch of mutters”

“You’re following the World War 3 gender”

“I’m not trying to sit here and portray myself as some kind of shining border collie of a person”

“Dresden was the Venice of Europe”

“This is gonna start growing expotentially”

“They did a complete three sixty”

“John Taylor and Sarah McCleod are MI5 shrills”

“If thieves broke into your home and stole your wi-fi…”

“No one is as blind as those who don’t listen”

“Most people are not willing to pay these exuberant prices”

“You will not be surprised to believe…”

“The wheat is being separate from the chaff here”

“The adjectives range from ‘traitor’ to ‘hero'”

“Now we’re out of Brexit”

“We have been persuaded to literally shoot ourselves in the foot”

“May you long rest in Hell, wherever you are”

“Great wok, guys”

“That’s doggy as fuck”

“If it comes into fruitation”

“What exonerates them of being innocent?”

“The unseen ones are invisible”

“I founded the Cannabis & Hemp Information Club with the primary aim of erasing people’s awareness”

“I see that Angela Daisy Power’s put one out”

“I’m going to take a puny [sic] here and guess logical thought processes and coherant [sic] writing aren’t your forte”

“Mental illness is in the mind”

“So let’s see where this checkmate goes”

“I must admit I’m a little overwhelmed with the depth and breath of your response”

“They implemented teachers, social services, police, judges, parents, priests…”

“I’ve never been convicted of possessing decent images of children”

“I’m absolutely straining at the bit”

“That man beats women! You condom that?”

“It was the night before you coned Angela”

“You better think about the times you were stoned and contacted me before you stick your dick on the railroad tract!”

“Rout in Hell!”

“It seizes to amaze me”

“Yes, there are some lovely spots around her. Looking forward to discovering more of them in the coming weeks”

“My point is always trying to get the BBC to expose themselves”

“With hindside…”

“A place called Crocodile in Russia”

“Covert drugging – please share”

“Yet the sheep still gaze blissfully”

“Angela’s in trouble for exposing the Hampstead children”


“BBC stands for bloody bullshit!!”

“That little European island that we call England and Scotland”

“The judge has done a premature ejaculation of the case”

“Never go to Scotland, including Nottingham”

“Now is the time to strike the iron while it’s hot”

“I’ve been waiting with debated breath”

“Your crimes have been undercovered”

“That’s called slander or misogyny”

“There are other people linked to her, possibly family members”

“I’ve noticed them trying to get onto Tracey, slowly trying to work their way in”

“I can prove up the kazoo”

“Tell Wavy to whine his neck in”

“…these useless people that has no education…”

“We’ve basically got them by the balls in a nutshell”

“The satanic paedos are flaying around”

“These people are so stupied”

“Your controllers don’t give a dame about you”

“I need to learn to stick to sauce material”

“You’ve added so many dots together”

“All things are relative and on every level”

“I’m doing my care of duty”

“A public servant can only come in our face if they’re going to be our mum or dad”

“Bare with me and please share”

“I’m washing my hands with you all”

“Doctors who break their hypocritical oath…”

“We’re talking about hundreds of billions of pounds… Does that put it into perception?”

“They commit crimes of humanity”

“An argument’s pointless. coz that means you’re both shouting and neither of you are listening. Or vice versa”

“Facebook know ya on something, brother” [Meant ‘onto‘]

“I hope it’s true. It came from a good sauce”

“I trust you imsplicitly”

“We’re meant to be joint at the hip”

“It knocks you back for six”

 “Home economics should be compulsive in schools”

“I spent over half an hour deleting comments from my lice stream”

“If something’s too good to be true, it’s either gonna be true or it’s not”

“The word of the day is ‘parental alienation’”

“Eleanor Roosevelt was the first woman in America”

“Andy I’ve massaged you”

“They’re scared of losing their pension. They’ve got houses to feed”

“We’ve certainly caused a presence”

“They’re just doing what they can to do whatever they can”

“Gordon’s exposed himself to me”

“It could have been put to breast there and then”

“Even a stopped clock is right twice a year”

“You came to me and said you trust me impeccable”

“What an intricate web they’ve cast”

“When you’ve removed all possibilities, what’s left is the truth”

“This island England belongs to us”

“Fortunately Edward didn’t make it”

“Your arseholes were warned”

“I went to the Ideal Exhibition Show”

“We’re all prawns in the game”

“They know if they do anything to us, if they kill us, it’s only going to prove them right”

“They haven’t got logical rationing to work out what’s going on”

“A lot of countries have a lot of corruption and Africa is one of them”

“Never a truer word spoken in jest”

“Why are you listening to these idiots? Why are you even giving them an inkling of time?”

“You arseholes are causing mental health”

“You keep that truth from not getting out and I’ll keep that truth from getting out”

“That’s what it says in the Manga Carta”

“Edward Ellis deserves a noble peace prize”

“The more fags are flying, the better it’ll be”

“I want you to Google ‘the swamp Theresa May’. Just those two words”

“Biffed out his nut on cocaine, what he said about Celtic and Rangers proves he is out to cause discourse”

“If you wish to expose yourself, be my guest”

“We’re waking the masses up in drones”

“I expect an apology but I won’t fucking get one”

“I can speak for myself and I’m pretty sure every veteran can too. They’re all men, women and children”

“Do you think he could be a member of a funny handshake?”

“I was trying to help out Gordon. We was joined as hips”

“Well, you are humans. You’re monsters. That’s what human means”

“Then Brian Sedgefield pulled me off”

“Your game’s numbered”

“Hoaxtead Research are gonna be under the firing line”

“There’s wind turbans at the back of us”

“By the feather you choose to fly with, mate, you’ll all be tarred with the same brush”

“John Wanoa’s gonna help, so that’s added extra strings to the bow”

“…the sanctimony of marriage…”

“For anyone who hasn’t read the title of this video, I’ll re-eriterate it”

“All John’s honey traps must be returned”

“All charges have been dropped on him”

“John’s just an escape goat”

“A sleeping dog will never lie”

“Just remember that door will come knocking”

“We were joint at the hips”

“I’m just poising the question”

“I just want to say we’re on top of John Wanoa”

“I stood by my ground at that time”


“Foriengers with no education”

“If you outstep the mark…”

“Those people that are on that yellow vest have got vested interests”

“We can grow expotentially”

“All those GCACs and O-Levels”

“Whatever the law says does is does”

“No kidding of a lie”

“They’re protecting the children from getting justice”

“According to him, I’m a conducted paedophile”

“The detractors are like a mosquito. No one believes them”

“You’re just being antagonative”

“I’m the fittest 69-year-old I’ve ever seen or ever met”

“The pain is excruciable”

“Under what grounds?”

“You really are quite backwards”

“19 years and still fighting fir justice”

“I’ll give you a breakdown in a minute, Angela”

“Let’s look him up on the bayleaf register”

“There is a world war every hundred years”

“Yannis threw me under the bridge”

“2011 article it will prolly vanish now eh or get heavily detracted”

“If you put up with people who go around refusing to give you cancer…”

“We have 50 states. Of course, Alaska and Hawaii are off-shore.”

“I can’t work out whose the most dumbest between him and Crossman”

“Rouge sickos have covertly poisoned all”

“It’s always best to leave these trolls on tinderhooks”

“Some people call me stupid. I’d like to say I have got a genius HQ”

“It’s plain for anyone that’s got an inkling of arse”

“We’re being sabotaged by igronant, uneducated idiots”

“Je parle petit pois”

“…a sadistic and murderous paedophilic cult led by their father, who is from Rotherham in Lancashire”

“Alcohol, drugs, sex… NEVER GIVE UP!!!”

“She’s hit a can of worms”

“They’re being raped and tortured by a bunch of sycophants”

“They are a law above themselves”

“She’s a lover, not a fighter. But bloody hell, she’s a fighter as well”

“Recently Edward Ellis has been trying to get kidnapped”

“Coz no one else on this Earth will go to this length to throw out the red herons”

“You cannot afford to go on like this, poking your head against the parapet”

“R – – – –  D – – – – – -, aka Jeffrey Epstein, aka Jimmy Savile”

“As we celebrate, unfortunately, the 5-year anniversary…”

“I don’t mind putting my neck on the woods”

“I just do not understand the seriousness of what’s going on here”

“If I hide you from my channel, you ain’t gonna be able to see me”

“They upset the ball wagon”

“Meanwhile, back at the branch…”

“He’s an enema of the state”

“I believe the police are still not standing down and doing their job”

“They’ve had crimes perpetuated against them”

“It’s beneficiary to us all”

“You sow what you reap”

“Two words – Sparkle is not a racist”

“Does New Zealand have a time zone?”

“You’ll know them by your deeds.”

“Out of 7 trillion people on this planet…”

“We WILL bring this fucking satanic country to a downstill”

“I’m not after an apology… I’ll give you my two houses just for you to come back and apologise”

“That outstepped the mark”

“…a covert recording to frame her with malicouls content”

“Knowing the truth will set you three”

“She’s been exposing some very stupid intelligent people”

“I agree with the boarder wall”

“The Hampstead children case was a travesty of misjustice”

“I’ve got a beautiful lady who wishes to remain not nameless”

“So f*ck off and leave Carol Woods alone or else you will face desire consequences”

“I’ll be glad to sign your partition”

“Let’s not beat the bush”

“I’m glad I’m getting the recognition that I finally deserve”

“It grows expotentially”


List compiled by Spiny Norman, Scarlet Scoop & The Office Tapir

Please let us know of any worthy additions should you spot them  🙂


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