What happened to Ella’s emotions?

A question we’ve asked many times, and heard echoed by commenters on countless YouTube videos, is “Why does Ella seem so cold and detached when she speaks of her children?”

If you listen to any of her many interviews over the past year, you’ll hear a woman who seems to be completely devoid of any warmth or distress about her kids, even while she tells interviewer after interviewer about ‘the cult’ perpetrating the most dreadful abuses on them. What’s that all about?

As usual, one of our insightful followers provides some useful observations:

CRIS report:’Several referrals were made to CAMHS and Tavistock in the past that ED did not attend.

Dr Hodes ‘was particularly concerned as she felt that the children were at risk being left in the home environment with ED and AC, as ED has not appeared to protect her children’.

So it beginning to emerge that Ella has NOT pursued/attended/engaged with referrals regarding concerns relating to the children’s psychological welfare (CAMHS/Tavistock). This is irresponsible and an indication of her true care of the children’s emotional life. The problems, if they were present, may have stemmed from Ella’s parenting style. Maybe that’s what all those tantrums were about – not enough love. Ella’s lost emotions.

This may be something which she is not responsible for. Her own experiences in childhood may be the cause of her own coldness, and lack of affect, something very evident in her interviews. She never shows any emotion towards the children, no handwringing, no tears, no NOTHING. Just words. Words without passion. No ‘I MISS them, for example. No ‘I cry at night’. So many mothers have commented on yt pages under Hampstead interviews: ‘If that was me, I would be fighting, present, to the death.’ But somehow this maternal feeling is absent in Ella. I am not saying she does not care for or love her children, at some level, in a kind of detached way. Of course she feels much much guilt. But being with chameleon seducer psychopath Abe is priority for her, her own needs come first. Separation from HIM would be more troubling to Ella than the loss of her children.

Thankfully the children do have a loving father to step in and pick up the pieces of the chaos Ella has created. One day the ‘in love with Abe’ will turn into disgust when her rosy specs fall off. What parts of her relationship with her children will she be able to salvage then?

From the limited information presently available, Ella’s behaviour suggests a lack of warmth from her own mother as a child, resulting in her own inability to show warmth or empathise with her children – as we have seen in her behaviour and in many interviews. Generationally handed down attachment styles. Her lack of normal mothering instincts: Not protecting her offspring, walking away from them.

Ella’s preference – and clinging to – a man’s love over her children may suggest she had a warmer relationship with her father than mother during childhood, and that she clung to this in the absence of anything else, perhaps. This may have been her method of emotional survival, which is still being played out today. A better ‘fed’ child Ella would have grown up to have the resources to handle the stress of single parenthood with her children who she found difficult. She had to brace herself against the arduous task of picking them up from school’ due to the difficult drive home, by her own admission.

In steps Abe, a controlling man, her saviour. ‘He will instill compliance in them where my love has failed’.

Many thanks to ‘Another Watcher’.

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14 thoughts on “What happened to Ella’s emotions?

  1. I feel that saying Ella may have had a lack of warmth from her mother which is why Ella appears cold to her own children is no excuse at all. For example, i grew up with a very violent father who would regulary beat me and my mother and that made me determined to not be the same kind of man as my father. I could never make a child feel the fear that i felt as a child so i can’t personally excuse Ellas lack of warmth towards her children.

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    • Agree, AF. The fact that a parent is cold or nasty doesn’t necessarily doom the child to a similar pattern. I personally know many people whose parents were abusive, yet who’ve made a point of being warm, caring, and reliable with their own kids, and with the other people in their lives.

      I do think that growing up in an emotionally deprived household will have lifelong impacts, but people can and do overcome these.

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    • It’s a nature and nurture thing isn’t it? You have the potential to be this or that way and then the environment encourages that predisposition. If the environment was different the individual would develop in a different way.

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  2. I agree. Many, many people have had less than ideal parenting and still don’t allow thugs to come in, beat their children and concoct fantastic cover stories for their paedophilic interests and even support them in this.

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    • I’ve been thinking for some time now that Ella’s main problem is that she seems to lack a moral core. She’s like a vacant shell, both emotionally and morally.

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  3. There are thousands of women & men like Abe & Ella out there whose own priorities trump those of their children.
    The majority of us are brought up by parents whose main motivation is the welfare & advancement of their children. They often do this & receive little feedback from those children or no thanks but it’s part of nature for a parent to fight tooth & nail to preserve the lives of their children. And there is no class or social barrier to this.
    Like attracts like and it seems Ella finally found her true mate in Abe, a sinister & dangerously deluded sociopath who even now believes he can win an unwinnable fight. I think Ella must also be a pretty unintelligent person to support such a dangerous & deluded Abe.

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  4. I can’t understand if the pair of them are in Spain, why the British Police, don’t go on a little trip, arrest the pair and bring them back to the UK to answer any charges?

    If this is not happening, then i’m presuming there are no charges to answer.

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  5. Ella has dug herself into the biggest hole any mother could. She has betrayed her children, she knows all is lost. All the feelings she does have is for herself. She will not be bothering about the children, they now are inconsequential to the bigger picture.

    She knows deep down, but will never admit it, she has destroyed her children’s lives, she is with a completely evil monster and there is no way out. She cannot express emotion, she has none, and it will never ever be retrieved. She has lost the most important things in her life, her children, she cannot have emotions, she is suppressing them. That is not to say though, if she made the decision to part company with the abusing evil man Christie, she might just have a chance. But we cannot see that happening, can we??

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  6. Pingback: Ella: ‘Lost emotions’ or ‘remarkable emotional poise’? | HOAXTEAD RESEARCH

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