It’s been a while since we last introduced a relative newbie to our Hoaxteader Hall of Infamy, but Tina Simerly has won herself a spot with her disgusting Facebook page, Eatin’ Liver Matters.
Actually, you might know Tina Simerly better as the psychotic hillbilly ‘Tina Kachina’. Apparently Tina feels some sort of white girl affinity for First Peoples’ cultures, so she just kind of borrowed the name ‘Kachina’, which means ‘spirit being’ in the Cherokee language. Holy cultural appropriation, Tina!
She’s had a few encounters with regular HR commenter Gabriella Barney, and usually comes out on the losing end:
Like all Hoaxtead pushers, Tina never misses an opportunity to share images of RD’s children, RD himself, or the children, parents, teachers, clergy, and business people of Hampstead. Fortunately, much of the illegal material she has shared has been removed, mostly via reports to Facebook, but it’s the thought that counts.
Tina likes to write in a mangled, strangled version of English, which we’re assured is not a form of American, but rather her own invention. She seems to think that writing like this will ensure that the Powers That Be won’t cotton on to her existence (not that they give a flying whatsis about her, but you never know, right?):
This goose is thee sweetest, most talkative Bird eye hav ever met! It luvs us & it seems it’s not just a random goose, nor is it here for food, kause it doesn’t even seem interested in thee chicken scratch or anything else we toss at it. Tiz a very kurious kritter konnection N deed.
Of course, it’s also possible that Tina simply suffers from some sort of intellectual impairment. Hard to tell, really.
Tina lives in the vicinity of Cosby, Tennessee, with her partner in paranoid defamation, Xander McDouall, aka ‘Kapt Xander’, and she’s well known for her long-time pathological aversion to soap and water:
In her spare time, she likes to practice her Illuminati hand signals:Want to see just how murderously deranged a Hoaxtead pusher can get? Here’s a sampling from Tina’s YouTube…just don’t say we didn’t warn you:
You’ve really got to hand it to those Hoaxteaders—they really know how to pick ’em!