Drifloud takes his exploding head all the way to the top

On Saturday we reported that über-troll Drifloud’s head had exploded, following his permanent expulsion from Twitter.

Apparently we underestimated the full extent of this event, as we’ve recently been informed that the Drippy One has now taken his cranial eruption all the way to the top: yes, folks, he’s written to Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter:

(Sorry, we had to divide this one in two, to do a proper screenshot.)

For the attention of Jack Dorsey, CEO “Twitter”

RE: Twitter’s slanderous accusation that I have participated in “targeted abuse”

I am writing to you as CEO of Twitter, and therefore representative of ALL Twitter employees.

One, or more, nameless person(s) at Twitter have made a FALSE accusation against my good self, and I insist on an apology. I have already emailed Twitter a couple of times, insisting on an apology, only to receive this latest sarcastic response, 30.1.2016:

@drifloud

Hello,

We’re glad that we were able to help you. Have a great day!

Thanks,

Twitter

as well as this repeated, slanderous accusation:

Hello,

Your account was suspended because it was found to be violating the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules), specifically our rules around participating in targeted abuse.

Your account will not be restored.

Thanks,

Twitter

This oxymoronically worded accusation that my account was “found to be violating the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules), specifically our rules around participating in targeted abuse”, is deliberately vague, specifies nothing, and cites no example – or PROOF – of what you call “participating in targeted abuse”. However, it IS sufficiently specific in that it is clear the writer of this statement is falsely accusing me of doing something which I have NOT – and it is therefore a downright LIE.

Twitter’s accusation has now put things well beyond a trivial matter of restoring a “Twitter” account; someone/people at Twitter have FALSELY accused me of “participating in targeted abuse”, and have thereby slandered and ATTEMPTED to defame me with their contemptible accusation.

I totally refute and reject the accusation that I have participated in “targeted abuse” – this accusation is a despicable and UTTER LIE.

I insist that you, Jack Dorsey, as Twitter CEO, IMMEDIATELY retract this accusation, and make a FULL and UNRESERVED apology.

NOTE: I am not APPEALING to you for anything, nor am I making any LEGAL “complaint” – I repeat: I am INSISTING upon a FULL and IMMEDIATE apology from you, as THE representative of Twitter and all its employees, for having made this slanderous accusation against me.

From a conscious living being,

Drifloud             1st February, 2016

We are 100% sure that Mr Dorsey will take this demand with all the respect and seriousness it deserves.

Drippy clearly stayed up all night writing it, and it clearly proves that he is 100% sane and rational. Also that his caps lock key is in fine working order.

After all, who but a completely reasonable person would interpret Twitter’s form letters as ‘sarcastic’? or claim that a private email between himself and Twitter constituted ‘slander’?

Heads will roll at Twitter, mark our words.