A challenge to Alan Alanson: Back up your claims or go home

/ 24/02/2016

We suppose it’s our own fault, really. We were browsing through Facebook the other day, and came across one of our old friends: Alan Alanson, a charming and self-effacing bloke who issued a few standard Hoaxteader death threats last summer before slinking back off to his cave.

Wondering what he’d been up to lately, we had a quick scroll through his page.

And as they say on those click-bait sites, you won’t believe what we found there!

First, this extraordinary set of claims about this blog:

Alan Alanson-lies about Hoaxtead R 2016-02-23

All right, this is just silly. “Child abuse is funny, lets [sic] just laugh”? Seriously?

“Its [sic] good to threaten you [sic] victims with murder to avoid any annoying confessions”?

And when have we published videos featuring little African girls, let alone said anything so utterly disgusting about them?

As for “Rusty Cuntballs”…we think Alan will find that no such person is associated in any way with this blog. Also, he might want to go look up the actual Ran Campbell (an evangelical Christian blogger, we understand) before he goes about shooting his big mouth off. If his conclusions weren’t so offensive, they’d be hilarious.

So Alan, here’s our challenge:

Show us where, exactly, on this site you found any of those vile statements. Go ahead, back up your outrageous claims with screenshots from this blog.

Meanwhile, in another thread on Alan’s page (truly a font of Hoaxtead pusher information and insight), we found him berating none other that erstwhile would-be kidnapper, Maria MacMahon:

Alan Alanson to Maria MacMahon 2016-02-23

We wonder what sin poor Maria has committed, that Alan thinks she’s suddenly switched over to our side? (We assure you, she hasn’t. At least, not that we know of.)

And by the way, just a quick word to the wise: most real First Nations people take great exception to racist images of ‘Indian princesses’ such as this.

According to Redface-US, “There were no actual Indian Princesses because there is no such thing as Indian royalty. The Princess stereotype was created to legitimize female Native Americans as potential mates for Whites”.

There you go, Alan. A free lesson in cultural sensitivity, on us. Never say we don’t give you anything.

Now off you go, and don’t come back until you can produce that proof we asked for.

BTW, cool leisure jacket, bro.

BTW, cool leisure jacket, bro.

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31 thoughts on “A challenge to Alan Alanson: Back up your claims or go home”

  1. I hereby personally offer a £1000 reward to Alan or any of his creepy mates (I note that Maria MacMahon is one of his more sycophantic groupies) who can provide one link or screenshot to prove that any of us have said any of the above. I made a similar offer re. our alleged death threats but not one Hoaxteader has ever stepped up to the plate. Maybe this could be the turning point for them – a great opportunity for them to regain an ounce of credibilty.

    Then again, perhaps not 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Bronny’s ‘Catherine O’Connell’ mate/sock is on Alanson’s page, echoing the freckle-faced one’s hilarious claim that Abe’s ‘RawHempStars’ channel is an RD sock.

    My God, I’d love to see the look on Abe’s face when he sees that 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Seems Alan Alanson is a fan of Araya Soma:

    ““The decay of moral values in all areas of life—the period of deepest German degradation—coincided exactly with the height of Jewish power in Germany.”

    No account of the Jewish Question in Germany can be complete without some mention of the tidal wave of sexual immorality that was to engulf the country during the period of the Weimar Republic (1919-1933) following World War One. This also happened to be the apogee of Jewish power in Germany. Every single sphere of major influence had now fallen under Jewish control.”

    Sexual “immorality” of course meant gay & lesbian liberation and a few drag queen bars in Berlin.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that homophobia and anti-Semitism are integral parts of the Hoaxteader mentality. After all, their cult leader Abe is a rabid anti-Semite and homophobe, so they’re essentially pre-requisites for joining the gang.

      Other notable anti-Semites include Chris Everard, Angela Dizzy-Powder, Bridget ‘Baboon’ Yorke, Charlotte ‘Washed Up’ Ward and Deirdre Mahmoudieh.

      As for Araya, I had to chuckle at her recent detour into ranting about a school whose alleged abuse was supposedly “covered up by Ofsted in the 1970s”. Slight snag – Ofsted didn’t exist in the 1970s. But hey, don’t let the facts ruin a good rant, Araya!

      Anyway, all back to normal now in Somaland:

      Liked by 1 person

          • I interpret a lot of the behaviour of the conspiracy theorists as misplaced rebellion against authority. The claims they put forward are so devoid of logic I can only assume they don’t really believe them themselves and enjoy the discomfort they cause to others.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’m less convinced that they don’t believe what they purport to be true–at least some of them. People can believe some awfully daft shit, and accept it unquestioningly because it comes from a source they consider ‘authoritative’. It seems that anecdotal evidence is preferred over logic by many people these days. I find that terribly sad.

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  6. These Hoaxteaders are so free and easy with their death threats that i’d be surprised if they had the time for anything else in their day.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great how the writer of this phlegm blob, I mean blog, corrects Alans words then goes onto make typos of her own. That’s sic that.
    And one massive character assassination somehow proves what? That the children are lying or forced to say what they did? That’s just logical fallacy. But the writer knows this. And along with her wank bots in the comments are also well versed in basic NLP.
    If there’s nothing to add to this debate since its clearly a hoax why continue to be concerned with the rantings of apparent lunatics? Does the echo chamber not send you mad? Or are you in it for the wank fest? Feels good?

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    • Great how the writer of this phlegm blob, I mean blog, corrects Alans words then goes onto make typos of her own. That’s sic that. <– *Alan’s *sick

      And one massive character assassination somehow proves what? That the children are lying or forced to say what they did? That’s just logical fallacy. But the writer knows this. And along with her wank bots in the comments are also well versed in basic NLP. <–Interesting analysis. A character assassination of a character assassination, then? As for the NLP, isn’t that a bit out of date? Thought that was debunked years ago.

      If there’s nothing to add to this debate since its clearly a hoax why continue to be concerned with the rantings of apparent lunatics? Does the echo chamber not send you mad? Or are you in it for the wank fest? Feels good?
      <– *it’s

      Oh, dear. I was hoping Mr Mole had come to provide us with screenshots of our own blog, proving that Alan’s tales about us were not lies. As to why we’re still here, we could ask you the same question. If you’re so sure of your story, why bother trying to convince the unbelievers?

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL, have you seen the comment thread on that FB post? Alanson has a small gang of very creepy sycophants to indulge his eccentricities, it seems. And every one of them seems blissfully unaware of the hypocrisy of statements such as “You know you are right when they are talking smack”, “They must feel threatened by you” and “It seems to me these Hoaxstead [sic] lot are a bit desperate”.

        But the Creepy Sycophant of the Thread award has to go to Ali Hague, for this epic bit of grovelling:

        “These people are fucking scary and you are true and brave.xXx”

        Hey Ali, feel free to come and collect your award if you ever manage to prise your nose out of Alanson’s arse 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        • I have to say I find it highly amusing that he tells the most egregious lies about us, but gets all huffy when we dare to look at his FB page. Ah well. The mind of a troofer is a strange and mysterious place. Glad I don’t live there.

          Liked by 1 person

          • @El Coyote

            You know you are right when they are talking smack. They must feel threatened by you. It seems to me Alanson’s gang are a bit desperate.

            Liked by 1 person

    • Re. CharcoalTheBlackMole

      Great how the writer of this cumsplat – sorry, I mean comment – tries to play grammar Nazi but “forgets” to cite one single example of that nice Mr. Coyote’s alleged syntactic errors. Maybe he left them on the bus, along with his screenshots of the comments he and Alanson insist we made. Oops!

      And one massive hissy fit proves what? That CTBM is a sad twat who has nothing better to do with his time than to sit in his piss-stained underpants in his grubby bedroom, posting hate speech on the internet, eating Doritos and promising himself that one day he WILL muster up the willpower to put down that Call of Duty joystick and go take a shower.

      Incidentally, correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t it the children themselves who stated categorically that they’d lied to the Police? D’oh!

      As for “character assassination” and “logical fallacy”, don’t even get me started on those epic slices of hypocrisy 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. what the fuck is wrong with Alan Boyes ? aka: Alan Alanson.

    If he was half as smart as he thinks himself to be, he would know that my account Rusty Cuntballs is a parody of Ran Campbell. nothing more, nothing less.

    The adult women (not children) getting punched in the face on my profile pic is because Ran Campbell had made a video in which he confesses to assaulting not only his wife (girlfriend at time) but also his own mother.

    He went to punch his girlfriend and knocked his mother out instead.

    The saying “you need Satan Bro” on my banner is because his favorite saying in the pass was
    “you need God bro! just sayin’

    As he is a fundi-Christian, it was/is fun to mock the fat cunt and turn everything he says around, with a little hint of remembering what he has done in his past also, just for good measures.

    Now, I am not sure, but I would bet my legs on it that the real Ran had not and will never touch a child, shame I couldn’t say more about Alan.

    And speaking of Alan.. if he is such a fucking believer in the whole Hampstead shit, why doesn’t he ask his own daughter Sian, how easy it is to cook babies at McDonalds.. considering she works at one 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey, RC, thanks for dropping by to clear things up. Clearly ‘Alanson’ is barking up the wrong tree…like most of the conspiraloon set.

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