Shoddy Charlotte’s Music Lesson

As a music aficionado, this is where Charlotte “Jacqui Farmer” Ward’s Illuminati Party “book” gets painfully depressing. I seriously don’t know where to start with the ignorance and lack of research on display here:

I think the most embarrassing aspect of this chapter for Charlotte is, once again, the notable lack of evidence of any kind, to support any of her allegations. Which is jaw-dropping when one considers the eye-popping claims on display, all presented as fact. Here are some of the worst ones from this mere page and a half, along with some choice rebuttals:

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Occult symbolism is rife the music industry. Nope. As Keelan Balderson points out on his Wide Shut blog, it’s a marketing tool.

They’re taking the piss and they’re deliberately driving paranoid tinfoil hat-wearing conspiritards like Charlotte into a frenzy because, well, it sells music. And how nice of Charlotte et al to oblige!

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A disproportionate number of late 60s pop stars came from Laurel Canyon, LA. Yet she can’t name even one! So I call bullshit on her numbers. Oh wait – she didn’t even provide any feckin’ numbers!

But it’s academic anyway. In the early 60s, many pop stars came from Liverpool, in the mid 90s, many came from Manchester, and so on. What exactly is her point here? Oh yeah – said suburb happened to be near an army base. An army base which, if I’ve understood Charlotte’s implication correctly, was breeding children to be extremely talented musicians and performers then manipulating them into acting as propaganda mouthpieces for the Illuminati. She even says that “many of them had been to kindergarten together”. Oh but wait – that’s bollocks too, as most of the pop stars to whom she’s referring – Frank Zappa, Jim Morrison, David Crosby, Roger McGuinn, Stephen Stills, Arthur Lee, Joni Mitchell, John Phillips, Graham Nash etc. – were neither born nor raised in Laurel Canyon! Or even in Los Angeles. Or even in California. In fact, some of them weren’t even American! They moved to Laurel Canyon, shared a house and wrote and recorded stuff together. Why Laurel Canyon? Because the legendary Mansion recording studio was down the road and the Haight-Ashbury music scene just up the road! Simples.

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“Many of those really popular bands didn’t even play their own music – that was done by session musicians!” Really, Charlotte? Well, if it was many, how come you can’t name a single one? Allow me to answer – it’s because you’re talking utter crap, as usual. Even The Monkees sang on all their songs and even played on many, despite the exaggerated myth. So to make such a sweeping statement against so many great musicians without being able to provide one single example or piece of evidence to support your claim really does beggar belief and boggle the mind.

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“OK, there were a few talented musicians around.” Oh, you’re too kind, Charlotte. Especially as the 60s were such a notoriously dry spell for musical innovation (LOL).

By the way, it’s funny that she cites Jimi (or “Jimmy”, as she incorrectly spells it) Hendrix as a rare genuine talent that wasn’t manufactured by the US military as, ironically, he’s about the only one who actually was in the military! 😀

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The hippie movement was a product of Illuminati mind control. Yeah? Is that right, Charlotte? And where did you get that information from? Oh yes, I remember now:

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Hippies helped the Illuminati to perpetuate the Vietnam War. No, dear. There have been few cultural movements that have protested more loudly and vociferously against war!

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“They created scruffy, druggy hippies to give anti-war activists a bad reputation.” Forgive me but I refuse to even dignify that one with a response.

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“…the by then rubbished anti-war movement.” Really? When did that happen? Rubbished by whom? What exactly are you trying to say, Charlotte? Anti-war protests continue to this day, even if the people protesting no longer wear tie-dyed ponchos.

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“The Illuminati invented the music industry.” Wow. Another one that barely merits a response, other than to point out that the music industry wasn’t invented overnight – it evolved in many different forms, following many different templates, covering a staggering range of genres, across the globe.

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The Illuminati murdered Bob Marley because he was too popular. Oh for Christ’s sake. I’m losing the will to live now. In fact, if I have to read much more of this shite, I’m gonna give the lizard people a ring myself and ask them to kill me too. Oh and for the record, Marley died of cancer. D’oh!

Incidentally, Bob had the option of having his life saved by simple surgery but he decided it would be against his religious beliefs and he elected not to have it. In other words, he chose to die. Where exactly is the murder here?

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“Don’t talk to me about The Beatles” Actually, Charlotte, I think somebody ought to. Oh don’t tell me – they were manufactured by the Tavistock Institute, weren’t they. On the backstreets of Liverpool and…er…Hamburg. Sorry, how exactly would that work?

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“There is strong evidence to suggest that Paul McCartney really was bumped off and that John Lennon is still alive.” NO…THERE…ISN’T! Which is why you accidentally forgot to tell us what that “strong evidence” is. Perhaps you could ask your mates over at The Tap, who claimed that Ringo Starr had admitted in an interview that Paul McCartney was dead:

http://tapnewswire.com/2015/02/ringo-says-paul-died-in-1966

Trouble is, as the hilarious comment thread beneath it reveals, not one person could actually find this non-existent interview.

In fact, the ‘Paul is dead’ theory actually started as little more than a joke among some college students in the late 60s and even they couldn’t believe that so many people ended up believing it. But it soon fizzled out when it was proven to be bollocks. Now it’s just you and a few of your weird mates who believe it. Sorry, luv.

As for Lennon still being alive, I must admit that’s a new one on me. Perhaps you could enlighten us all as to where you heard it. Actually, don’t bother. Oh, you weren’t going to.

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“Kris Krtofferson was a cult handler.” Oh God, save me! When will this torture end? Please tell me we’re nearly at the end of the chapter!

By the way, what’s with the ‘was’? Can someone please tell this self-professed “researcher” that Mr. Kristofferson is still alive? Thanks.

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“Leonard Cohen was mind-controlled by MK Ultra.” Seriously, I’m not sure I can make it to the end here. My eyes are starting to burn. Tell my family I love them very much!

Incidentally, there’s that ‘was’ word again. Sorry to disappoint you, Charlotte luv, but Leonard’s still with us too. Oops!

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Michael Jackson was “of course” a Satanist. Of course! It’s so obvious! So obvious, in fact, that Charlotte was unable to provide a rationale or one single scrap of logic or evidence to support the claim. Are you starting to see a pattern here?

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“And if you haven’t heard about Andy Gibb, then you really don’t want to know.” Ah but Charlie-babe, I haven’t heard…and I do want to know. That’s why I’m reading your book. In fact, this is a new experience for me – reading a book to learn stuff but essentially being told, “Ner ner ner ner ner, I know something that you don’t and I’m not going to tell you what it is!” It’s so refreshing!

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By the way, Charlie, if you really want to be taken seriously as a writer (yeah right, LOL), perhaps you should learn to spell the things on which you’re claiming to be an expert, starting with ‘hippie’ and ‘Jimi Hendrix’. You might also benefit from looking up the difference between ‘foment’ and ‘ferment’.

Better still, you may wish to consider an alternative strategy that would benefit all of us: never write anything again as long as you live.

Thanks