Archer met the law and the law won

Yet another Jeanette Archer public protest event has failed to live up to its hype.

Was it really only 10 days ago that Archer announced to her cult members followers that she would be leading them on a completely unprecedented, unspecified, but super-exciting direct action? In a video posted to her Facebook group on 9 July, she said:

I’m not going to say what we’re going to be doing at this point, but it’s going to be good. All right, so we’re going to have a little bit of a surprise on the day. All I need you to do is get bodies there. So we will be meeting at the London Eye…. I will give you more information as time goes on with regards to what time we’re going to be meeting, and what you need to be bringing. Literally today I’m just giving you the date, and the meeting point, but I won’t be letting anything else out of the bag outside of that, and I know you all completely understand why that is. …

This is the time now, we won’t be marching, we won’t be going on long marches, we did that on the Saturday, we went to the locations that we needed to go to in order to expose who’s involved. Now we’re going to fight back in a way that will be different than we’ve ever done before but we’re gonna do it, okay, and we’re gonna fight harder than we’ve ever fought before. …

These are end times, and their end goal is to have our children. And we are not going to let that happen. So guys, have a think about it. If you can make July 19, we’ll be meeting at the London Eye, do whatever it takes to get those plans in place, and I promise you you’ll be really glad you come, because that day will go down in history, what we’re gonna do.

Wow, what could she be plotting now? Not a march, not a rally, something completely different, new, exciting. Each time she mentioned this sooper-seekrit plan, she flashed an evil grin—whatever the plan was, she was obviously very pleased with herself.

Okay, it’s going to be brutal, we have to remain fearless, okay, and like I’ve said to you before, when you feel frightened to stand up to these people, who are doing this to our children, I want you to just take a minute and think about what these children are going through. I want you to remind myself of my childhood, and just remember that that is happening today. Right now. Okay, and I want you to use that, use that energy to stand up and say, “No more”. No more, okay? We fight for the children. This is it, you guys, I’ve been leading you on this path for a year now, over a year now, I told you we’d win, I told you I’d do it, I told you I’d lead, and I’ve done it, but I need you now to stand up and fight, like you have never fought before.

The words of a general, building up her troops before leading them into action.

Over the next week and a half, tantalising hints were dropped:

“We’re not marching this time but we will be going to pay some people a planned visit”.

In another Facebook video, Archer advised her cult to arrive at 11 a.m. sharp on Monday morning, pack snacks, and prepare for the long haul. Oh, and bring balloons.

Archer admitted that yet again, she would be tagging along with another, much larger event—in this case, retired cop and Freeman on the Land advocate Mark Sexton’s rally for freedom, conveniently scheduled to take place on the day when Covid restrictions in England were scheduled to be lifted. Nope, we have no idea either.

But, she said, she’d be taking her followers on a bit of a detour prior to joining the larger crowd. Presumably, that’s when she planned to do the Very Brave Thing.

On Saturday, she offered a broad hint:

So far as we were able to determine, this claim is utterly baseless. However, the post did point to an alarming possibility: was Archer planning to attack MPs? And if so, which ones?

A later post on Archer’s Telegram channel suggested one in particular:

Oh right, him.

But Archer had already stated that she was not planning to simply lead her mob to 10 Downing St to shriek at the Prime Minister. Oh, no, she was going to do something completely different. Something innovative and daring, which would require bravery and commitment to her cause. And balloons. And snacks.

Tinky and the Brainless

We were curious, but Angie New, one of Archer’s less intellectually gifted followers, offered a few hints the night before the Big Brave Event. She posted a video of herself and her friend Tinky, bellowing obscenities at the police standing guard at the security gates of 10 Downing street.

Almost immediately, the officer’s body-cam switched on, and we’re sure he got a delightful home video of Tinky and the Brainless screaming that he was a paedophile protector, and that they’d see him and Mr Johnson the next day.

Just in case we were in any doubt, some of their commenters offered confirmation, like this:

Way to give up the Sooper Seekrit Very Brave Plan, girls.

An event unlike any other?

At 11 a.m. on Monday, we searched high and low for any sign of Archer or her cult. After a half-hour’s delay, Dom “Enzyme” Abbey, the person who live-streamed the infamous Satnic Abuse March of 26 June, got his equipment set up, and began live-streaming from the London Eye.

The crowd was, shall we say, underwhelming. Apparently, not as many of Archer’s cult members were willing to put their lives on the line as she’d hoped.

Eventually, a small group of 30–50 die-hards gathered round. After the usual “they raped and murdered me” speech, Archer rallied her troops, informed them they were going off to do the Big Brave Secret Thing, and off they trotted…

Yes! They fixed the sign!

Right off the bat, it was clear that Archer had attracted sufficient police attention to warrant her own pair of the Met’s finest. Wonder who tipped them off?

In fact, she seemed to have attracted quite the police escort.

As they crossed the bridge, Mark Steele, Mr 5G Himself, had a good bellow at someone, possibly Boudicca? Probably felt good to get it off his chest. Whatever it was.

Also, did you know there are two brothers Steele? We’d have thought one was plenty.

We’re pretty sure we remember seeing the fellow with the camera at Archer’s last rally. And here he is again, a bit later:

It probably should surprise nobody that one of Archer’s cultists should have an anti-Semitic badge on his bag, right?

Was it at this point, or later, that it became clear that Archer’s omnipresent bodyguard, James Zikic, had not suddenly developed a beer gut, but was wearing a stab vest under his “Jeanette Archer” t-shirt?

What we’d very much like to know is, why a stab vest? What was he expecting to encounter?

Many thanks to Simon Just for pointing this out.

There was a brief moment halfway across the bridge, where they met with still more police, who warned them not to block traffic. Archer seemed inclined to balk, but in the end she caved. At one point some of her followers made a show of dumping a bunch of sweets and some paper cut-out children in a pile on the road, for reasons which I’m sure they could explain.

Eventually, the small group reached their destination, which was indeed 10 Downing Street. Imagine everyone’s surprise to find still more police awaiting them! We’re sure this had nothing to do with Pinky and the Brainless’ performance the previous evening, nor with Archer’s own artless hint-dropping.

And oh, look, more police, this time holding their riot gear. We’re sure they were on their way somewhere else, and just happened to drop by to hear Archer.

In a clever bit of crowd control, or perhaps just because parking in downtown London is a royal pain, the police had parked their buses at the kerb outside Downing Street, effectively hemming Archer and her followers in, and preventing a larger crowd from amassing. Not that the crowd seemed to be growing, but just in case.

Buses to the left of them, cops to the right…

None deterred, Archer stood and and screamed for a while at Boris (who wasn’t there) and the police (who most definitely were, but didn’t seem particularly interested).

And then, without much fuss or fanfare at all, Archer’s group turned around and left to join the anti-Freedom Day people in Parliament Square.

A bit bedraggled at this point, and not nearly as loud.

The short march back was uneventful, and Archer’s tiny group was quickly subsumed into the much larger, louder, and more pugnacious crowd, which at one point was calling for Boris Johnson to be hanged. Apparently some bottles were thrown at police, and there were a few actual skirmishes, ending with some arrests. So far as we know, none of Archer’s crew were involved.

The anti-maskers in full throat

We have so many questions.

Other than the fact that it was held on a Monday, we didn’t see much difference between this and any of Archer’s previous performances. There was the requisite screaming, the gruesome descriptions of child torture, the allegations that anyone who disagrees with them is a Satanist apologist or a paedophile protector or both, and a lot of walking around in London, shouting things like “Two! Four! Six! Eight! Paedophiles is what we hate!”

Despite all the hints and clues dropped in the week before the event, in the end nothing really happened. Archer’s followers were not called upon to scale the security fence at 10 Downing Street, nor to invade the halls of Westminster, nor to participate in any public witch-burnings. There was no MAGA-style storming of 10 Downing Street or Parliament, and aside from a lot of screaming and chanting, people seemed disinclined to do anything they weren’t supposed to.

It’s almost as if Archer got them where they were going, took one look at the police presence, and decided to abort mission and come back another day. Or not.

Still, we hope they enjoyed their snacks.