Somebody mentioned recently that we would be picking the bones of the Jean-Clement Yaohirou audio transcript for some time to come. Prophetic words, as it happens.
As the transcript makes clear, most aspects of Abe and Ella’s hoax just don’t work.
For example, the tale that when the children are beaten and they scream, the school nurse is on stand-by to “inject them”.
Here’s what Abraham and the children said about that:
Abraham: Tell him what if you scream, what happens?
Child P: If we scream, so loud, or if we even make a noise, he gets Miss _____ to inject me…
Abraham: Who’s Miss _____?
Child P: The nurse. Of our school.
J-C: Do you know her?
Abraham and Ella: Yeah.
Abraham: She tries to be superficially to be nice to Mum. (To children): And what do she do to you?
Child P: Inject us. Which puts us to sleep.
Abraham: She injects you?
Ella: (spells out name)
Abraham: Just a moment. So she injects you?
Child P: Yes. On the neck.
Abraham: And she…and what happens when she injects you on the neck?
Child Q: We feel…when he injects us…
Abraham: You feel drowsy.
Child Q: We feel like, we feel like, just like we’re gonna have, we have no energies like…like we want to…
Abraham: To go to sleep.
Child P: To go to sleep, we can’t stand any more, so, yeah, like that.
Ella: And that’s when they do sex to you.
Child P: Mmmhmm. And after when you woke they just, and after when they’re finished to do sex with me and Child Q, leave us in a room, in the dark and go to the other classes.
J-C: So how do you know that they do sex to you if you’re drowsy?
Child P: No, because you can see Miss _____, I saw Miss _____ inject him. And I fell down, because I was standing up…
J-C: But how do you know that they’re doing sex to you if you’re drowsy and you’re sleepy?
Child P: I saw, I saw, I saw! They injected him! I saw they injected him.
Child Q: And they fell down…
Child P: He didn’t fall down, he…
J-C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Abraham: And then what do they do…
Child P: And they were doing sex to him while he was…injected.
Child Q: Because Child P was watching.
J-C: So you’re standing there watching him…
Child P: Yes.
J-C: …but you’re not injected.
Child P: Yeah…um…
Ella: They would only do…they would only…do it to children who scream too much.
J-C: Okay, the rest is just…
Ella: They will do whatever they want to do with them, if they don’t listen they would hit them, if hitting doesn’t help, inject them. And, um, I mean, while…
If true, this would be a truly horrifying scenario. Children being beaten (with a spoon, Abraham’s personal weapon of choice), while a superficially benevolent but really nasty nurse looks on, waiting to inject anybody who screams.
For some reason, we envision the nurse like this:
Terrifying, if true.
Fortunately, the Hoaxtead mob can breathe a collective sigh of relief, as on closer examination, this is yet another of Abe and Ella’s fairy stories.
Why doesn’t it work?
Abe and Ella have taught the children to claim that when they are “injected in the neck”, something like this happens:
What’s wrong with this scenario?
First, while we don’t know what drug Nurse Ratched up there is meant to be using, from the description given we will assume that it was meant to be an hypnotic agent such as propofol.
But successfully injecting any drug into the neck is a seriously difficult task. There are a few possible scenarios:
- Nurse Ratched sneaks up and injects the child from behind: problematic. She’ll most likely inject the drug into a muscle. Even horse tranquilisers injected in humans intramuscularly take some time to work—like, 10–12 minutes—and meanwhile, you’ve got a wriggling, screaming child on your hands. Kind of defeats the alleged purpose.
- Nurse Ratched sneaks up from behind, but misses the neck muscles and injects the drug straight into one of the large blood vessels—the carotid artery or the jugular vein. The drug will work more quickly—about a minute to full unconsciousness—though still not instantaneously. And then there’s the inconvenient problem of, well, death.
People who inject drugs like heroin will tell you that neck injections are incredibly risky, and can be really good way to overdose and die. If you accidentally hit the carotid artery, the drug goes straight to the brain quite rapidly, and next thing you know, you’re a statistic. This is why the vast majority of heroin addicts avoid injecting in the neck, and see it as the site of very last resort, after all their other veins have collapsed.
Neck injections can also cause non-fatal but serious issues, such as jugular vein thrombosis, deep neck infections, aneurysm, haematomas, airway obstruction, and vocal cord paralysis.
However, let’s say that Nurse Ratched is determined to get that pesky child to stop screaming ASAP (for obvious reasons, as this entire scenario is meant to be taking place first thing in the morning at a busy primary school, with other students, delivery people, office staff and so forth out in the hall).
A child screaming, “Stop hitting me with that spoon, you vile beast!” would attract a bit of attention, one would imagine.
Nurse Ratched, being a diligent nurse who prides herself on getting the job done no matter what, decides, “To hell with the whole ‘this could kill them’ thing, I want the fastest results possible. Blood vessel it is”.
Accurately hitting the carotid or jugular can be surprisingly difficult.
Doctors who need to aim for the internal jugular in order to install central lines for long-term medication need to use ultrasound to locate it. Locating the carotid artery, while easier, still takes a high degree of skill and poking around, plus aspirating a bit of blood into the syringe just to make sure you’re really there.
What happens if she misses? According to DrugAbuse.com:
Although the neck has the same risks of other locations, such as abscesses and collapsed veins, an abscess in the neck puts serious pressure on nerves and can block your air passage. Nerve damage to the neck can also result in vocal cord paralysis. In addition, if you hit an artery in your neck, the injecting chemicals will shoot directly into the brain, potentially causing a range of neurological problems or a stroke. (i.e., death)
So now we’ve got the school nurse (not a doctor), let’s say a portable ultrasound machine for locating those tricky blood vessels and making sure she doesn’t accidentally injure or kill the child (a dead giveaway, one would think), and she’s going to need a bed where the child can lie down and hold still while she goes a-searching for the right place to inject.
Oh, and meanwhile, said child is presumably still kicking and hollering, or why bother with all this palaver in the first place?
Bottom line to all this is that if Nurse Ratched, through some combination of guesswork and sheer dumb luck, managed to hit a blood vessel, and if the injection didn’t immediately kill the poor child, then this scenario might be possible.
However, a quick review of Occam’s Razor reminds us that when there are two explanations for an occurrence, the one which requires the least speculation is usually preferable. The more assumptions you have to make about how the occurrence might work, the less likely it is to be correct.
Which is more likely:
- School Nurse Ratched in the staff lounge with a needle, horse tranquiliser, portable ultrasound, gurney, and the degree of skill usually attributed to a skilled anaesthetist? or
- Abe and Ella watched one too many episodes of Dexter?
You be the judge.