Well, fellow “shadow people”, it looks as though Belinda has had just about enough of our discussing her. She’s decided there’s a mole on her Facebook page (hello, Captain Obvious!), and she can’t work out who’s been sending this blog screenshots of her posts, so she’s decided to shut the whole thing down and try again.
Only this time, she’s planning to only invite people whom she knows to be friendly to her particular brand of trooferism—we’ll call them “the friendlies”. Poor Belinda. You really have to feel for her.
In the twilight of her life, she finally embraces the miracle of Facebook, only to discover that not everyone who claims to be your friend is really a friendly.
Now she’s looking for friends who will all be “QUALITY PEOPLE and not out to destroy me and what I stand for”.
“Destroy” you? That hurts, Belinda. Really it does.
Couldn’t you think of us Shadow People as trying to help you see the error of your ways, rescue you from your own folly?
Are you ‘QUALITY PEOPLE’? Take this quiz!
It seems we weren’t the only ones to pick up on the “QUALITY PEOPLE” thing [Going a little heavy on the all-caps, no?—Ed.]
Belinda’s friend Jadviga queried her on it as well:
You might be “QUALITY PEOPLE” if:
- You are simply a GOOD PERSON ⊗
- From any background ⊗
- From any race, colour, or creed ⊗
- Rich or poor ⊗
- Educated or uneducated ⊗
It’s okay if you
- Lie (well, you know, white lies, whatever those are) ⊗
- Say hurtful things (but only when you’re offended or annoyed) ⊗
But you must
- Feel for those who are suffering ⊗
- Try to give them help or comfort if possible ⊗
- Believe in things like justice, fairness, and truth [And the American way, shurely!—Ed.] ⊗
- Not lie (except for the aforementioned white ones, as defined by…well, yourself), cheat, steal, or slander ⊗
- Abhor any form of cruelty or abuse to those who cannot defend themselves (such as parents, children, teachers, clergy, or others in a beleaguered school and church in Hampstead) ⊗
How many boxes did you tick?
If you got them all, you might very well be a “QUALITY PERSON” and therefore eligible to be on Belinda’s exclusive list of Facebook friends! Now, if that doesn’t send a thrill of excitement down your spine, we don’t know what will.
Or are you a SHADOW PERSON?
Unlike “QUALITY PEOPLE”, “SHADOW PEOPLE” seem like a nasty lot.
Here’s a little quiz to help you decide whether you belong in the latter category:
You might be a “SHADOW PERSON” if:
- You do whatever you want ⊗
- You have shut down your individual and collective conscience ⊗
- You have low or no empathy ⊗
- You can be extraordinarily cruel or destructive and not feel any remorse (Like Angela Power-Disney, who feels no compunction about destroying lives with her foul gossip) ⊗
- You hang out on the Deep Web (where you presumably do Dark Things such as collect commercial child sexual abuse images, like some of Belinda’s friends) ⊗
If you ticked all five boxes, it’s entirely possible that you might be eligible to join Belinda’s crack team of Hoaxtead mobsters! [Team on crack, shurely?—Ed.]
Think of it—the fun of destroying lives on a whim, the excitement of never knowing when you’ll get that knock at the door, the thrill of knowing that if you do go to prison, you will be glorified and hailed as a martyr to the cause! Whee!
So for now, let’s bid Belinda a fond adieu from Facebook. We’re quite certain this isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of her.