Well, that was a bit anti-climactic.
Since Rupert Quaintance’s release from prison and his deportation back to America in January, there have been vague rumblings of curiosity amongst those who followed the story of his arrest and trial for harassment. What would he say when he returned home? Would he have learnt anything from his experience here?
Last night, Rupert released his first public live-streamed video since his return to Charlottesville. The kindest thing we can say about it is that he seemed a bit scattered. In the sense that the Pope is “a bit” Catholic, or Angela Power-Disney is “a bit” of a…no, perhaps we’d better not go there.
Trying to follow Rupert’s drifting monologue was difficult, but in amongst phrases like “this is a testament to humanity” and “I’m humbled by the fact that it happened”, we did manage to piece together a few facts.
In a stunning triumph of hope over experience, Rupert says he’s thinking of returning to Italy to do more videoing at the Vatican, but he vows that this time there will be “no crazy shenanigans”. He wants to travel to Amsterdam again, and then to Paris for “a couple of months, because I can”.
He acknowledges that he hasn’t really reported back on what happened during his sojourn in prison, and says he intends to do an update on that; he also says he’s planning to write a book about “activism, supernatural stuff, altruism, anthropology”, America, Trump, and Charlottesville.
He claims to have an editor, but no publisher for this magnum opus, which comes as a huge surprise; surely such an original work would fairly leap out of the slush pile at any acquisitions editor…no? In any case, says Rupert, while he could write the book now, he thinks it would be better to decompress…and then go haring off to Europe again with Kevin Galalae.
Side-note: last we heard of Mr Galalae, he’d taken his donors’ hard-earned cash off to India for an extended yoga retreat holiday. Perhaps he wanted to “decompress” too, who knows?
Back to Rupert though: he’s found a job on a flooring crew, and admits that he’s been “living like a college kid or a guy in a band”, because “that’s just how I’m wired”. Uh-huh.
It seems that his UK experience left him a bit frazzled:
If you’d stuck a live-stream in front of me when I first got back I’d have flipped out. Cause if you get persecuted for…saying’ stuff….we’ll go into that later!
They already ran me through jail, they think I’m going to be quiet about it?
Yeah, I know what I’m allowed to say and what I’m not allowed to say, that doesn’t mean I’m going to behave myself, I mean…I could just…I offered to play nice, you gonna just piss me off now”.
He complains about having spent his time in Erith living “like a third class prisoner” but does seem very keen to help his friend Adam’s grandmother, who supported him in the months leading up to his trial.
Describing her as a “family friend”, he says her name is Jean, she’s 85 years old, she has lymphedema in her legs, she only has one kidney, and she’s partially blind. “And she didn’t kick me out, she’s like my surrogate British grandma”.
Rupert says that he’s been trying to reimburse her for the expense of supporting him, but hasn’t been able to raise enough cash on his own, so he asks his friends to contribute to his GoFundMe page to help.
He doesn’t explain why, if he really wants to help this elderly woman who sounds like a fine person indeed, he is planning on gallivanting off to Europe once again, leaving his paid work behind. Details, details.
There’s more…much more…but really, piecing together this long, rambling diatribe is almost as painful as listening to it. He suggests that England be annexed to the United States as the 51st state; he tells his audience that they must “vote out all the incumbents” in the coming U.S. mid-term elections; and he goes on an extended rant about a pair of glasses which, he believes, somehow connect him to the 1960s.
Bit of a dog’s breakfast, really.
However, we do have one gem of a quote for the Hoaxteaders’ Little Book of Non Sequiturs; see if you can work out what this means:
“I’m not trying to sit here and portray myself as some kind of shining border collie of a person”.
Have at it, and let us know what you come up with. Answers on a postcard, please.