Yesterday we watched with a combination of horror and admiration as Neelu Berry and “equity lawyer” Edward William Ellis saw a pair of police officers off and slammed the door in their faces.
Admiration? Well, yes—you have to admit that it takes a certain…something to improvise a stream of gibberish sufficient to confuse and deflect the unsuspecting officers, who clearly had no idea how to handle this particular brand of crazy. We have no doubt that they’ll be back, but it did make for fascinating viewing.
As did some of the comments under Neelu’s Facebook post—most of them wished her well and congratulated her for cleverly avoiding the plod, but one comment really stood out from the rest, for its sheer daring and determination:
We will rule the world…via text messages!
Yes, you heard the man: text messages.
You know, those annoying spammy messages which show up on your Android or iPhone unbidden, offering you “special deals on bank rates IF YOU ACT NOW…NO, WE MEAN RIGHT NOW…CLICK THIS ICON…CLICK THE ICON NOW….CLICK IT!!! OR YOU WILL DIE BANKRUPT AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR OWN FAULT AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE PENNILESS….”
You know the ones.
Studies show that most people do open these messages, presumably because we are a curious species…and that most people then proceed to block the sender’s number and mark it as spam once they discover that the message is, how shall we say, unmitigated rubbish.
But that’s no obstacle to John. No sirree!
He is on a mission to educate “the masses”, and he’s done the research, and by gum, he’s worked out that SMS is the way to go. With enough money and dedication, he is convinced that he and his friends can be the change the world needs.
So if you open your phone one day and discover a message which reads, “You have a right to DIFFIDATIO(N)*” or “This is a collective struggle for the survival of us indigenous English people of this island. It’s not just pendragons struggle but every English persons one! Far too many are complacent due to the constant brainwashing of scumbags who are desperate to keep us under their control! We have to think outside the box or we are done for!**” you will know: the Revolution has begun.
And resistance is futile.
* and ** Both actual John Banks quotes