Belinda attempts to discourage ‘angry mob’ at Sabine’s hearing

Well, that was hardly predictable at all.

Following Tracey Morris’ bout of uncontrollable gum-flappery over the past couple of days, during which she attempted to wind up Sabine’s supporters by claiming that her solicitor was incompetent, corrupt, or both, Belinda has struck back in her own charming and genteel manner:

They do remain concerned, however, that some kind of ‘noisy mob’ turning up could damage her chances of re-release….

One can almost see Belinda’s lips disappearing entirely as she attempts to disguise the iron fist within the velvet glove.

But (to mix metaphors with wild abandon), the claws come out just a few sentences further down:

Incidentally, thinking about people’s passions which occasionally go in the wrong direction (usually through ignorance of the facts), Sabine’s solicitor has chosen to ignore an attack on him by a supposed supporter who has been viciously bad-mouthing him all week – you know who you are and so do others who have been picking up on your negative activity… you are only making yourself look foolish as 1) YOU DON’T KNOW THE FACTS OF THIS CASE UP TILL SUMMER 2015 and 2) YOU DON’T HAVE SABINE’S OWN PERMISSION TO CHANGE HER LEGAL TEAM!!

“So back off, bitch!”

Ooh, was that my outside voice?

Of course, it was a matter of mere seconds before Weaselly turned up to accept the challenge: Oh, right, the White Pendragons. Wasn’t it Weaselly who introduced that particular bogeyman last week? We’re pretty sure it was.

Using CAPITAL LETTERS won’t mean anything, says Weaselly. And then he immediately commences USING CAPITAL LETTERS. Honestly, you can’t make it up.

Is Belinda really worried about Sabine’s supporters catching cold? Or is this just her subtle way of discouraging a large turn-out? Answers on a postcard, please.

And now for something completely different…a call to arms using the Eventbrite app.

So…are they actually planning to sell tickets to this courtroom extravaganza? To be honest, we wouldn’t put it past Weaselly.

We need boxes. Boxes and holes.

Quote of the day: “We’re not thinking outside the box anymore. We’re creating new boxes”. Pine ones, but don’t worry, it’s the nice kind of pine, totally natural and biodegradable. But first, we have to dig that six-foot-deep hole. BRB.

The part where they pass the begging bowl

So there you have it: Belinda declares war on Tracey (who really was asking for it, to be fair); Weaselly sets up an Eventbrite page and huffs at Belinda; and then they pass the hat. Standard fare at any Hoaxtead mob event, really.

And now, bets on how long before we hear the sound of a head exploding up Belfast way? In 3…2…1….