Hoaxtead mobsters descend into hysteria

As Sabine McNeill’s next court date approaches, her supporters’ attempts to garner support for their heroine have gone from “urgent” to “frantic”, and have now reached the lower limits of “hysterical” on the Troofer Tail-Chasing Scale™. By the time of Sabine’s next hearing at Southwark Crown Court on 19 March, it’s anticipated that certain of the more excitable Hoaxtead mobsters may actually blow up and bust.

‘Human tornado’ touches down in Priory Gardens

We’ll start our round-up with a message from Hoaxtead Central:

On Monday Belinda issued one of her periodic “Sabine is in prison OMG OMG” updates, noting that “Human Tornado” Tracey Morris had briefly touched down at her posh home in Priory Gardens.

Fortunately, no one was injured, but it seems that we were wrong to have blamed Jake Clarke for the peculiar protest banners which he and Tracey seem to have nailed up in a farmer’s field on Sunday. The guilty party is actually someone named “Dean from Brighton”, who Belinda claims was “concerned to hit exactly the right note”.

If that note was meant to be “I know how to plagiarise random Banksy stencils, but not so good at spellin…..g”, then we give him full marks.

Belinda didn’t waste this opportunity to rally the troops, stating, “It’s very clear Sabine was set up which is NOT being tolerated and ENOUGH IS ENOUGH of hounding and harassing our dear friend and fellow-warrior for children”.

She also predicted that “the matter will be back in court well ahead of 19th March”, though we’ve seen no evidence that this is the case. Tracey seemed to believe that Sabine’s legal team would be in court yesterday; again, this seems to have been a figment of their imaginations:

We do wonder what Tracey means when she says “if she isn’t released by tomorrow [Tuesday] then we won’t be taking any prisoners”.

Tracey is still bound by the terms of the injunction she received in August 2015, prohibiting her from discussing the Hampstead hoax in public. However, police seem to have ignored her many breaches of that injunction. She has famously claimed that “it’s not worth the paper it’s written on”, and sadly our legal system is proving her correct.

White Pendragon invasion?

Meanwhile, on Weaselly Hall’s “Free Sabine” Facebook page, concerns were raised that the white supremacist “White Pendragons” group which disrupted a speech by London mayor Sadiq Khan in January were planning to storm Sabine’s 19 March hearing: Okay, when we say “concerns were raised”, we mean “Weaselly was spreading rumours”:

We need as many anti fascists as possible in attendance please—to support Sabine and to tell this group of people they’re / it’s evil to even contemplate using a child abuse case to manipulate people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions towards a certain ideology using topics we’re all sympathetic about. 

When we stopped roaring with laughter, we went looking for the “so-called ‘satanists'” who Weaselly claimed had been posting on the page and event.

Nope. Not one.

But it seems that some “Free Sabine” sympathisers were nonetheless a bit doubtful about the Facebook page’s Fearless Leader:

So it seems no dragons will be present at Sabine’s next hearing after all. Pity, it would have added to the festive atmosphere.

Meanwhile, over on Planet Zog

Neelu has been churning out incomprehensible diatribes at a great rate:

Apparently “ALL MP’S COUNCILLORS, MEPS, MINISTERS, LORDS, BARONESSES, LEADERS…ARE OPPORTUNISTS, IMPOSTORS, FRAUDSTERS, ACTORS, TREASONOUS CRIMINALS IN FANCY DRESS OUTFITS HAVING FANCY DRESS PARTIES IN FORCED OCCUPATION OF OUR PUBLIC OFFICES” and a bunch of other stuff which we didn’t really have time to read. Bottom line: all bankers are responsible for everything, over and out.

Thanks for that enlightening update, Neelu. We’ll take it under advisement.

And finally…

“Alan Alanson” seems to have vanished up his own arsehole.

And there was much rejoicing.