2017 Christmas Message from the Queen of Hoaxtead

Oh dearie, dearie, dear. We were so busy feasting and frolicking and opening gifts on Christmas Day that we somehow managed to miss the Message from the Queen.

No, no, not Her actual Majesty. We mean, of course, the Queen of Hoaxtead, Belinda McKenzie: It seems that Belinda is less than delighted with the way this year progressed: poor dear paedophile Brian Pead’s trial went tits up; Sabine’s arrest count continued to climb and she put Belinda to the trouble of raising bail security on her behalf; and then of course there was Rupert, though he doesn’t seem to warrant a mention in this year’s broadcast. Oh, and Maurice “The Menace” Kirk is in the slammer for the next two years…not to mention Belinda’s own arrest earlier in the year.

Come to think of it, we’re a bit shocked that she did not refer to 2017 as her annis horribilis.

A pity, really. Would have given her the chance to show off both her superior education and her posh accent. But never mind. Opportunities lost and all that.

We admit to being a bit offended at her constant references to “shadow people” in this year’s speech, as we strongly suspect she’s referring to us. It’s a bit rich, really, as we’ve met and even conversed with her on several occasions; but perhaps she thinks it best that her remaining loyalists not know that. [Oh dear, have we let the cat out of the bag?—Ed.]

Still, what are we, chopped liver? We’re hurt, Belinda. Very hurt.

In any case, if Belinda thinks 2017 was a barrel of laughs, wait till she sees 2018. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

22 thoughts on “2017 Christmas Message from the Queen of Hoaxtead

  1. Poor Bellend, she’s soo behind the times. We’ve always known Kim Jong Un was a Freemason as he was pictured last year at the Highgate branch where he was a special guest as this snap from the Ham & High shows. Apparently enjoyed himself and was the life of the party.
    I’d love to wish Belinda a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year but I’d rather just say “go fuck yourself !”
    (I mean that in a caring and sharing way and in the nicest possible taste)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I see “Heather Brown” and “Suzy Jones” have been commenting on Belinda’s fb timeline.

    Something to do with Belinda running an Adoption Agency!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Another guess by Heather Brown. I’ll just stick with the fact, Belinda is a paedophile sympathiser, leading the vulnerable, obsessed with bullshit, ruining innocent people’s lives. Much like other people who call them selves anti child abuse campaigners,who wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them in the arse.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Ah okay, you don’t think there’s any substance to it.

        You are probably correct, considering all the other bs Heather used to spout.

        I wonder if Heather’s hatred of Belinda is due to Belinda getting involved with Heather way back when Heather lost her son to the care system?

        Mind you Heather is a bit of a bitter biatch.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes it probably has something to do with it, but, she does make out she’s some kind of detective, when she completely barks up the wrong tree, and why was it she was so far under Angie’s arse but couldn’t get a word in. Then suddenly fell out.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yes I’d love to know what went on there, though it was predictable from the off.

            Heather must have some secrets to tell about Angela.

            Spill the beans Heather.

            Liked by 1 person

          • From what i have seen of Heather, she is right up there with Tracey Morris as a hate filled woman, pure nastiness.

            Liked by 1 person

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