The other day we happened upon this interesting titbit over on Steemit, which describes itself as “a relatively new company, founded in early 2016….[which] uses a new cryptocurrency to reward users who upload articles, images, commentary, etc.”. The poster, “healingherb”, was unfamiliar to us, and claimed that they didn’t know any of the details of this case, but we thought we’d poke around a bit anyway. Lo and behold, it seems that “healingherb” shares some interests with our old friend Charlotte Ward, aka Jacqui Farmer, aka Carleea.
So much for that whole “I don’t know nuffin’ ’bout no Hampstead SRA hoax!” claim. There’s that word again—”conspirituality”. And sure enough, further down the same page…Need we even say that the link leads here: Yes, Charlotte is still trying to flog her “peer-reviewed academic paper” to other conspiranoids who will presumably not notice that her “conspirituality” theory is based almost entirely on raw data from Google Adwords. That’s right: her great and wonderful theory simply reflects the number of times people in various countries search for the term “illuminati”, which she interprets as evidence that conspiracy theories are becoming a new worldwide religious force.
The “conspirituality” link is one of Charlotte’s calling cards, but just in case we were wrong, we had a look for further evidence that the Steemit account really belongs to her. Eventually we wound up on the Project Avalon Forum, “where science and spirituality meet” (they said it, not us). We apologise for the teeny-tiny print on this one…apparently the Avalon people haven’t updated their chat page design since 1995. Here are the basics: It’s the usual bilge: “Pizzagate is real, ermagerd, Satanists and babies and tunnels and cheese pizzas oh MY!” Charlotte supplies a convenient link to her Steemit page at the bottom of the post, like so:
…and that link leads to this page: Incidentally, if you’ve ever wondered how Charlotte/Jacqui did the “research” for which she was infamous, you might enjoy this heartwarming story: How I activate my kundalini through cannabis. She’s renamed Jacco de Boer “Fred” for some reason, but otherwise this is vintage Charlotte. Our favourite part was this:
I was sitting chatting to my husband at the table after that first pipe of (medical) Super Sweet Tooth. The room acquired a pink glow – the fridge sparkled and I could feel a mighty power shimmering in the air.
“Oh oh – it’s kundalini,” I thought.
So I said to Fred, “Can you feel the power, too?!”
When he confirmed that the fridge was not in fact sparkling, I recognised it as K and expected I was in for something interesting. I would need to try this again.
A few days later, I found some serious evidence for a child abuse case I was investigating. After a small pipe of Super Sweet Tooth, I was visited by the Archangels of the Four Quarters: they congratulated me on being a “Hero” for publicising the evidence and each one of them rewarded me with a gift.
I am totally not lying here. I know this sounds crazy but I didn’t know what to do so I got down onto my knees and thanked the Archangels because “I was not worthy”.
They said, “Stand up like the warrior you are.”
Here’s what we want to know: what gifts, exactly, did the Archangels of the Four Quarters give Charlotte? Perhaps something to clean the sparkly bits off the fridge? Because sure, a pink sparkly fridge is all very well when you’re getting baked, but we think it’s one of those things that would get awfully old awfully fast.
Oh, and here’s another, about how Jacco and Charlotte managed to “cure” their alcoholism…by getting hooked on cannabis. Brilliant.
My partner is fortunate in that he is not (or does not appear to be) drinking to escape anything more painful than “boredom”, although his parents went through a phase of hitting the wine (never each other) that lasted a few years when he was a teen. But once we started growing cannabis, and distilling our own alcohol for solvent, the potential for him to hole up in the office with his hooch and a stash to smoke while gaming for hours (weeks, even) arose and he was starting to get stuck in. This is not great for any relationship. I’ll be honest: we had a(nother) massive row about it on Jan 1 so made a joint decision to transcend this deadlock by turning Fred Coming off Alcohol into one of our cannabis oil experiments.
“Joint decision”, geddit?
Never mind, let’s move along:
Fred tells me that so far, for him, using cannabis oil has been a magnificent way to stop drinking. The reason, he suggests, is that once you are high on oil, you forget to drink altogether – so you are able to break habitual patterns. He now walks the dogs stoned instead of tipsy. He has had a few urges to drink but they have been short-lived.
Erm…okay, sure. Whatever you say, Charlotte.
Bottom line: looking through Charlotte’s Steemit account, it’s pretty clear that she’s trying to “monetise” her various interests, from “conspirituality” to “initiation” to cannabis. So far as we can see, she’s made a US$334.85 since she joined in January, which by our reckoning is approximately US$334.85 more than she deserves.