Was it only three months ago that Ella and Abe seemed to be on the brink of re-launching the Hampstead SRA hoax, complete with exclusive interviews (Ella only, please; Abe is too unappetising for even the most gullible troofer), an aggressive funding drive, and an attempt to latch onto the American audience via that whole Superbowl advert controversy?
It was all going so well: Stone-faced Ella was giving interviews to that SGT fellow, followed by Sofia Small-Something, and then Nathan Stolpman…who sadly stepped in it by revealing Ella’s admission that she’d been lying when she said her ex-husband, his new wife, and her eldest son were part of the imaginary cult.
At this point, the entire story collapsed, since most people realised that not only Ella, but RD’s two children had both originally asserted that their older brother and his father were in the cult…which meant that they were not, in fact, being absolutely truthful in the videos Abe and Ella had forced them to make en route Morocco to London.
And then there were the various crowd-funding attempts, all of which, we are proud to say, were stymied by you, our commenters. If Abe and Ella were hungry last spring, we imagine they must be ravenous by now, despite all those chickens we heard in the background of one of Ella’s videos. Hemp soup might be all well and good [No, it’s not—Ed.], but we noticed that in each of her appearances last spring, Ella looked a bit more scrawny and washed out.
Poor Ella and Abe: cashless, stranded in the Spanish countryside with only chickens for company (or presumably, for supper), losing supporters by the bucketload…and now, the final indignity: Yes, it’s true: yesterday we learned that both of Ella and Abe’s obnoxious, identical, and virtually unreadable websites, HampsteadCoverup.com and FreetheHampstead2.com, have gone tits up.
To be honest, we hadn’t really been paying much attention to the twin blogs, as Abe could never be arsed to update them. The last time we checked, the most recent post was dated 2016.
It seems most likely that the blogs were removed by their Icelandic web host, who are quite happy to tolerate all manner of child abuse and defamation on their platform, but become a bit tetchy when they aren’t paid on time.
In any case, we’re quite certain the blogs’ absence from the interwebs will not be missed, except perhaps by Kristie Sue, Abe’s last remaining fart sniffer.
Meanwhile, over on Twitter…crickets.
Yes, you read that right. The last time Abe roused himself from his cannabis-induced stupour long enough to bother writing on Twitter was just three weeks shy of a year ago.
So…no Twitter, no crowd-funding, no blogs, no cash, no hope. It seems that at long last, Abe and Ella and their malicious hoax have reached the end of the line, and it’s happened not with a bang, but a whimper.
There’s only one option left for them, and it involves porridge. Still, that’s a step up from hemp soup, right?