Here’s a free tip for anyone out there considering setting up their own hoax along the lines of the Hampstead SRA hoax: pick a story and stick with it. Oh, and while you’re at it, you should probably not include too many specific details in your hoax, because at some point someone will probably ask you an Awkward Question, and you’ll need to be able to add or delete details at will, without making it too obvious that you’re lying through your teeth. Unlike Abe and Ella.
On 21 March 2015, Ella released the infamous video in which she reads out her “witness statement”, listing the names of everyone in Hampstead she or Abe ever had a grudge against.
In that video, she reads the following:
She very specifically states that her ex-husband and his current wife are “active members” of the cult, and that her ex-husband is the cult’s financial supporter.
However, several weeks after EC/Snake Logan pursued Abraham Christie around YouTube, asking him the Awkward Question he couldn’t seem to answer, Ella finally managed to come up with a half-hearted semi-answer, relayed through her latest walking talking hand-puppet, Nathan Stolpman. (Wonder if Abe knows Stolpman is a Jewish name? —Ed.)
At 36:35 in his recent non-live video featuring clips of Ella, Stupidman says:
“I saw in her original, er, charges or document that she drew up with, er, something called McKenzie Friends – and I’ll talk to you about that – erm, that’s a little bit of a psy op too – and, er, she mentioned that Mr. Draper, her ex-husband, was also involved with the cult, the Satanic cult. I’ve spoken with her now since and asked her about it and she says now she doesn’t believe that was the case and that was maybe something she was prompted into coming up with at the time when she was under duress.”
“At a time when she was under duress”?
Really? By the time Ella read out this statement, she and Abe were safely ensconced in Spain, where they were doing their utmost to promote the hoax via multiple video interviews with pretty much anybody who would have them.
Sabine McNeill was similarly out of the picture, having also buggered off to Germany one step ahead of the law.
So the only person who could have put Ella “under duress” at that point was…hmm, let’s see. (Hint: He’s short, unctuous, creepy, has a criminal record longer than both his tiny arms, and likes to claim he has an “honorary doctorate” which he received after a weekend workshop with a bunch of fruitloops in Glastonbury.)
However, we need to remember that Ella gave Sabine a written copy of this “witness statement” back in November 2014…so Ella had had four months in which to think about whether her ex-husband and his new wife were, in fact, “cult members”. The fact is, she not only claimed that they were in the cult, but stated that her eldest son was, as well.
However, now that we’ve asked the Awkward Question—why didn’t Ella notice that her ex had a gigantic monster/demon tattoo under his tighty-whiteys—she suddenly decides, “Oh, no, wait—even though I put him, his wife, and our son on my hit-list, I just remembered, now that you mention it. They weren’t there. Nope, not at all. Sorry. My bad”.
So does this mean that Mr Draper didn’t engineer Ella’s meeting with RD? Is she now saying that Mr Draper didn’t introduce her eldest son to the cult?
Clever, Ella. You have just cut away a chunk of the hoax you and Abe tried to construct. Slow clap.
Maybe RD wasn’t the cult boss after all?
And Ella isn’t the only one trying to alter the story after the fact. Last week, Abe finally came up with an excuse that probably sounded plausible when he and Ella dreamt it up.
You see, the reason that Ella could live with RD for so long, and even have children with him, without noticing his gigantic genital tattoo was….(drum-roll please)…
Ohhhh, that explains it.
Oh wait, no it doesn’t.
According to the story the children were forced to tell, RD was a lifetime member of the cult. The children alleged that prior generations within RD’s family were also cult members…and Ella named RD’s siblings as members as well. The children were quite clear that they would be the next generation of cult members, and so would their children, and so forth.
The children talk about the other children, their friends and classmates, all getting tattoos and/or piercings as a part of cult membership. They also claim that RD was the “boss” of the cult.
So the story was that he was born into it, was the leader of it, and had been a member his entire life. Every other cult member had tattoos and/or piercings from childhood. Would it make sense for the leader of the whole shebang to be the only person in the cult without a genital tattoo?
It would not.
But little things like keeping one’s story straight don’t matter to Abe. What matters to him is that he was challenged, asked a question he couldn’t answer, and so he did the obvious thing: he altered the narrative to fit.
So in Abe’s Hoaxtead, Mach II, the new revised story is this:
RD didn’t join the cult until after he and Ella split. This means that no one in his family was in the cult, and he was not using the children for cult purposes when they were babies. Because during the time when he was with Ella, he wasn’t in the cult, see?
As regular commenter Dave points out,
This version also means believers must accept that RD joined a long established cult taking in many schools and businesses and somehow became leader within a few short years. Even though the purpose of the cult is State Sponsored Trauma Based Mind Control being pushed on the education system. In what way would RD be qualified to lead such an institution?
And they must believe that in January 2014 Ella so happened to get a new apartment in a street filled with cult members.
So in making this alteration to the story, Abe has effectively wiped out a huge swathe of the hoax: if RD wasn’t in the cult with the kids were babies, he couldn’t possibly have “given” them to the cult at that time. The children could not have had early behavioural problems that were attributable to being abused in the cult. Ella could not have sensed anything “wrong” with the children, as she has so often claimed, because the children weren’t in the cult until much later.
Effectively, Abe and Ella’s answers to the Awkward Question—that Mr and Mrs Draper weren’t in the cult after all, and that RD only joined once he’d left Ella—have destroyed their story.
Own goal, Abe and Ella. Nice one.
This is far from the first time that Abe and Ella have added to or deleted from their insane pack of lies, of course. For example, in her first interview with Comrade Sean from SGT, Ella told a touching story about looking deeply into a child’s eyes, and realising that the child was desperate to be rescued from the cult. Only problem being that Abe had told this exact story two years earlier…except that he was the one looking into the child’s eyes and telepathically understanding that she needed rescuing.
But…will Abe and Ella’s hard-of-thinking acolytes understand that it attempting to save face and answer the Awkward Question, the gruesome twosome have just effectively admitted that everything they claimed was a lie?
Don’t hold your breath.