Kristie Sue Costa aspires to fill Charlotte’s shoes

Hands up, everyone who misses Jacqui Farmer/Charlotte Ward’s simpering, innuendo-laden blog posts.

You remember, the ones where she’d say “we’re not trying to say these people are child-raping baby-eating murderers, but do normal people go out for drinks with their co-workers on a Friday night? We think not!” Or “of course this could mean nothing at all, but don’t you think it’s bizarre that so many parents whose children go to the same school would friend one another on Facebook. Doesn’t that seem…strange to you?”

Well, we’re sure you’ll be delighted to learn that although Charlotte’s nauseating blog was removed from the internet a year and a half ago, another demented Hoaxtead mobster has stepped into her hate-mongering shoes: yes, you guessed it, Kristie Sue Costa is the new Charlotte Ward wannabe.

As you’ll see, she’s got that simpering, judgey-preachy Church Lady tone down just right: Oh dear, what’s this? RD had his photo taken at the Grammy Awards after party with another man? This must surely mean something.

Such as, “RD has friends”, “RD gets to go to cool parties”, “RD has had his picture taken with a friend”, and “How come no one ever invites Kristie Sue Costa to Grammy after parties? It’s JUST NOT FAIR!!!”

Kristie Sue’s strange assertion that RD “seems to have a thing for” the other man in the photo, based solely on the fact that they’re…well, in a photo together, is absolutely worthy of the Charlotte Ward School of Gossip Mongering. A+, Kristie Sue! Here is RD’s friend wearing a highly suspicious running outfit. His feet are showing, which must mean something. Even more suspicious? RD LIKED THIS PHOTO (as did 35 or so of the man’s other friends). And worst of all? The photo was taken on 28 July, in a year which ended in the number “13”.

Grab your pitchforks and torches, people, looks like we got a witch…er, a warlock to deal with here.

OMIGOD. This is the killer photo, friends.

It’s A MAN. Standing near A LIMOUSINE. At NIGHT.

And he’s saying he had a great day, that he’s grateful and smiling? What kind of pervert is this person? How dare he express enjoyment for a really good day? Especially on a day in a year which ended with the number 13???!?

And RD responds (a day later, that must mean something), “Looking good (friend)!” Is this some kind of code? What does it mean? Could it possibly mean that RD thinks this guy is (gasp!) looking good? Is he suggesting something? How dare he comment favourably on a male friend’s photo? Ahahahahaha!! Is that actually Melissa Williams calling someone else “wierd” (sic)?

And congratulations to the intrepid defective detective Kristie Sue, who has clearly established through her avid trawling through RD’s friend’s Facebook page the following immutable facts:

1. RD has friends.
2. Some of his friends live in America.
3. At least one of them lives in LA.
4. They both once went to a Grammy after party, where someone snapped their photo.
5. RD has “liked” his friend’s Facebook posts, and vice versa.
6. RD’S friend enjoys his life and is grateful for what he has.
7. At least once in his life, he has stood near a limousine.

Clearly, this means something dastardly and devious is going on. You can tell by the fact that two men were in a photo together, both wearing black suits, both smiling (you’ll have to take our word for that bit).

Seriously, Kristie Sue, don’t you think it’s time you got a life and a better hobby than stalking RD and his friends? Don’t you have a family? Friends (and no, your online troofer buddies don’t count)?