The eyes have it: Let’s settle the fuss over that Audi advert

An Audi car advert played during the American Super Bowl game a couple of weeks ago has got the Hoaxtead mobsters all in a tizzy, as apparently Ella Draper is claiming that the young girl featured in the ad is in fact RD’s daughter.

Leaving aside the improbability of it—why would anyone take the risk that someone might recognise the girl and track her down?—there are a few very good reasons to believe that people like, oh, say, Kristie Sue Costa and Angela Power-Disney are talking out their arses. Again.

A short lesson in genetics

We know from their photographs that both RD and Ella have blue eyes, correct? Here’s a brief refresher, just in case anyone has forgotten:

Now, back when we were in secondary school, we learned that two parents with blue eyes absolutely, positively, definitely cannot produce children with brown or hazel eyes. Our teachers explained to us that the gene for blue eyes was “recessive”—that is, a person with blue eyes carries only the gene for blue eyes, and therefore has no brown-eyed gene to pass on to his or her offspring.

We now know that this is an oversimplification: it turns out that more than one gene is involved in producing eye colour. Eye colour inheritance is now considered a polygenic trait, meaning that it’s controlled by the interaction of several genes. However, while it’s possible for two blue-eyed parents to produce a brown-eyed child, it’s still very, very unusual.

And sure enough, when we look at the pictures of RD’s two children, we see that they both have bright blue eyes…like their parents.

The young Audi actress

A few days ago, Kristie Sue Costa posted pictures of the young girl from the Audi advert on her Facebook page:

She points to the girl’s teeth, presumably as some sort of “evidence”. (By the way, KSC, children’s teeth shift and change dramatically in the years between primary school age and the pre-teenage years. You are a parent yourself, but perhaps you spend too much time combing the internet for “evidence” and posting on Facebook and Voat to bother noticing details like that in your own children.)

However, Kristie Sue was so preoccupied with the girl’s dentition that she failed to notice the most obvious telltale clue: her eyes.

They are most decidedly not blue. Take a look at that advert again. Not a blue eye in sight.

We made up this handy chart, for reference:

Anyone with more than a couple of functioning neurons can also see that the the two girls’ eyes aren’t the same shape, they’re not the same size relative to their noses, and their eyebrows are different. Other than that, they’re a perfect match, right?

But Ella says…

When challenged yesterday with this obvious evidence that she is falling prey, yet again, to the dread folly of confirmation bias, Kristie Sue responded tartly:

Ah, well then.

Ella, the mother who deserted her two children even though she claimed to believe that they were being brutally raped and forced to participate in grisly baby-murder and cannibalism rituals, said she’s “100%” certain that the Audi actress is her daughter. This is the same mother who starved her children, allowed her boyfriend to beat, kick, burn, and threaten them, all in the service of “getting back” at their father and preventing him from having a relationship with his kids.

So Ella can tell beyond a shadow of a doubt that a child she has seen while watching an American football game is the daughter she abandoned to her fate two years ago? Say no more, say no more.

Apparently Ella didn’t bother looking too closely at the Audi actress’ eyes either.

Or maybe she doesn’t exactly remember what colour her children’s eyes are. After all, she’s a busy woman. That ganja isn’t going to grow itself, after all. And then there’s all the arranging of fruit on plates, and posing in fields of cannabis, and practicing her face yoga. Who has time for details like eye colour?

What’s the point of all this?

Why are Ella and Abe attempting to whip their gullible little friends into a frenzy over a car advertisement? Most likely for the same reason they’ve been uploading videos to their YouTube channel like there’s no tomorrow, and linking videos to their “Generosity” fundraising page: they’re taking one last kick at the can, attempting once again to use images of RD’s children to squeeze money from the weak-minded and fanatical.

After all, the Hampstead SRA hoax was always intended as a jumping-off point for an online fundraising campaign. Why stop now?