Hampstead weather: Cloudy with a risk of archons

In our “Just When You Think You’ve Seen it All” department…. Yesterday a kind reader pointed out a blog we’d never seen before, in which an “intuitive artist” named Joanna Whitney, who keeps body and soul together by helping people choose paint colours in a home improvement store in Denver, Colorado, has claimed that Hampstead has been overrun by archons.

What is an archon? you might ask. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with foot support, bows and arrows, or the curvy bit over Roman doorways.

According to Ms Whitney (and a number of fantasy fiction writers whose work we consulted in our extensive research for this blog post), an archon is

…a demon – a form of negative angel that dark magicians have called in over the ages for help. The Archons help humans for a price. Archons feed on blood, lower emotional states and the effervescent spirits of children. Dark Luciferians and Satanists are ruled by the Archons which possess them.

Oh, well then.

So what does an archon look like? Well, this:

Or, on special occasions such as the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee or Joe Strummer’s birthday, this:

Yes, that’s right. Hampstead has been invaded by flocks of giant flying uteruses. [Uteri, shurely? -Ed.]

Or perhaps there’s only one archon in Hampstead, but it’s really really big. Whatever.

Ms Whitney says that the archon is Up to No Good, and we have no reason to doubt her.

Oh wait, we do have reason to doubt her. Several reasons, in fact.

1. She is batshit crazy. Don’t believe us? Take a stroll through her blog.
2. She is friends with, and has painted portraits of, other batshit crazy individuals, such as Fiona Barnett and Cathy O’Brien, as part of her “MK Ultra Survivors” series. Yup.
3. She has seen fit to spread the Hampstead SRA hoax via her blog, despite overwhelming evidence that the whole thing was a fiction constructed by some very nasty people.
4. She cannot be arsed to spell the names of the children correctly. If she’s going to violate the law by revealing the names of two vulnerable children online, could she not at least check the spelling?

If you still doubt that Ms Wright is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, read this:

We rest our case.

On a more serious note, we see that Ms Wright has included a link to RD’s LinkedIn page on her blog. We’ll be protesting to WordPress, as well as to Ms Wright’s domain name provider, against this serious defamation. We’d urge our readers to do the same.

Meanwhile, if you should see a giant flying uterus lurking about Hampstead, we’d suggest that you take shelter in the nearest doorway. We hear those things can be nasty when aggravated.