Rupert & Kevin: This is a fine bromance

This started off as a post about Rupert, the peripatetic weed-addicted American blowhard who has been threatening to come to Hampstead to hang out in pubs, kick down doors, rape children, and force non-existent cult members to ‘squeal’. But really, does anyone care about him any longer?

We’ve watched him get stoned in Rome, get wasted in Amsterdam, get wasted in Amsterdam some more, try to sneak into Angie’s Lanzarote hideaway during one of her interminable broadcasts, and try to pretend he wasn’t in the same room whilst she interviewed him online (okay, that was pretty funny actually). Will he ever actually make good on his promise to come to London?

We are starting to have our doubts.

We have noticed, though, that Kevin BeansForBrains has been making overtures—manly, bruv-like overtures, we hasten to add—in Rupert’s direction:

Rupert + Kevin 2016-07-29We’re with you, Felicia. WTH?

Our dear friend Frances Mulligan happens to be something of an expert in Kev-Speak, so we asked her to translate this strange missive for us:

Dear Fans,

Frances took time out of her busy schedule today to help Rupert fully comprehend the following statement, left on his wall today by his good friend, Kevin Justice.

Firstly, here is the letter, unfettered by correct grammar, punctuation or intellectual prowess:

Yep you got the action man right you best believe it what I don’t understand Gabriella barney is why you’re against protecting children you fucking loser.Like I said when you’re ready come meet me and we can settle it there and then but I forgot you’re a scared little pussy that just talks blah blah blah you’re boringgggg.lets arrange to meet and wear a dunce cap on your small brainless fucking head 😂😂😂 so you stand out and easy for me to 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻please let’s do this as you’re no women or you wouldn’t of arranged to meet me anytime any place yeah right you’re just full of fucking shit you waste of a life pedo filth.I protect children and have never said anything to you about who was responsible for the case but we all know don’t we some pedo filth that are you’re best friends that’s why you hide don’t see me hiding nooo I’m everywhere all the time why don’t you come to one of my Mma classes and I’ll show you a real action man not a plastic one like yourself anyway you’re stupid boring and filthy scum so please go and get help with you’re sickness you’re not well in the head.Anyway Like I said get a life you lowlife c*nt or come and meet me you choose where you can bring some people and I’ll bring some proper people that don’t play fight but we can teach you some different skills 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻😄

And now, after many Martinis and back rubs from Manuel, her cabana boy, the translation:

Yes, Rupert, you are a man of action, but I don’t understand why ____ is against children losing toys. As I had posited earlier, you have an open invitation to meet me and please don’t forget your kitten this time! I enjoy your kitten, it is very lively. Let us meet and please, do not forget to wear a chapeau, as your head might get a chill without covering to protect it. Shall we fist-pump and show one another our biceps now?
Women usually do not arrange to meet me, mostly due to my problems with diarrhoea. Human waste can be so messy.
I believe it is a fact that everyone has friends, and a good place to find them is in a nearby Mummy class. If one has worries or feels unwell, help is at hand
As I stated earlier, come meet me and do bring your friends! I shall bring some as well, and together, we can learn a new skill, such as macrame or underwater basket-weaving. Jazz hands!

I’m sure Rupert appreciates Frances’ hard work, although she does note, with a certain amount of sadness, he never sees fit to thank her for her efforts.

Never mind, Frances, we appreciate your amazing linguistic skills even if Rupert doesn’t.

Now that we understand what Kevin was trying to say—essentially, in his awkwardly semi-literate way, he was extending the warm hand of friendship to his new bruv—we’re sure Rupert will feel much less apprehensive about his trip to London.

After all, everyone needs a friend, right?

fine bromance

54 thoughts on “Rupert & Kevin: This is a fine bromance

  1. You may recall that Kev was begging for support from Jake Clarke just last week (innit, bruv). So even Kev has given up hope on that brainless loser and moved on to his next mark, then? And blimey, if Rupert is what classes as a step up, then God help you, Kev!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kevin’s rants are always entertaining but if you use Google Translate to translate them into Korean and then back again, they become sublime. Here’s an example using the one above:

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kevin can put Rupert up in his 1 Bed Council flat in Woolwich.

    That’s if Rupert actually dares to come over to England from wherever he is bolted up now, probably quite literally handcuffed to a said ahem ladies bed.

    The pair of them have a common interest in MMA, Kung Fu etc.

    Rupert can join Kev’s army.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t one of the first and most important rules of martial arts to not use it as a form of aggression? If so, then Kevin’s frequent use of it to threaten people with and pick fights with makes him a disgrace to the martial arts community.

      Liked by 1 person

      • “Defence only” is true with traditional martial arts.Kev purports to have gone down the MMA alley(mixed martial arts) .This is a contemporary popularist mish mash of traditional disciplines where basically the idea is to pretty much to kick the shit out of each for the sheer hell it and the umbrella term “Sport”.

        There is also a radical breakaway sub genus of MMA (Mad Man Alliance).This is a completely unregulated undisciplined activity where unhinged dope smoking,kitten weilding, wasters congregate randomly and grunt extreme gibberish at each other.The first one to either shit himself or run home to his mummy is declared the loser.

        An application for this to be an Olympic accredited event was rejected by the IOC on the grounds that the committee could make “any fucking sense” out of the submission which was submitted on used toilet paper and signed “Kev”.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh good, I’m glad that was rejected as an Olympic sport by the Olympic committee. That paves the way for medieval jousting 😀

          Liked by 1 person

        • MMA = Mad Mental Arseholes just kicking fuck out of each other; there is no discipline to it. In essence it’s just a way of dressing up the old-style backstreet ‘dog fighting’ in a legitimised way that can be marketed. – They’re a bit like guys who wander about pretending to be ‘Special Forces’; ‘Walts’ in American parlance….. People who really are the ‘real deal’ rarely (if ever) feel the need to talk about it let alone pose and big themselves up on some social media platform originally designed for children. – Very popular with closeteers as it allows them to drool over and sometimes ‘get to grips with’ big thweaty boys without having to admit to their mum that they’re as gay as the box of yellow dusters under the sink.


          • I don’t know if you’ve seen the series Grayson Perry: All Man. The first one explored this, and was a bit kinder to the MMA/cage fighter men. The men interviewed were more thoughtful in general and had more nuanced motivations than than Kevin appears to have.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I’ve seen a great deal of propaganda of various types Tracy. And I stand by my comments. These guys don’t impress me on any level.


          • I agree Joe.The saying “beware the quiet ones” springs to mind.

            A case in question I observed a few years back.

            Sitting in the corner of a local pub 2 old boys(early 70`s ish) quietly supping their pints.3 kev stylie gobshoites came in and tried to dominate the whole place,the landlord tried to calm them but seemed intimidatedd ineffectual and things became progressively obnoxious.A number of punters left but the silent old boys supped on.The main protagonist of the wellhard crew then thought it was great fun to start nudging the cue of pool players and being pretty disgusting towards some of the woman folk ad nauseum…I am sure you get the picture…anyways……

            My friend and I were about to drink up and go elsewhere when one of the quiet pint supping elderly gents walked up to the 3 young bucks said something in the Alpha Kevesque twats ear,grabbed him by the collar and frog marched him out of the pub and some way up the road.Our hero returned sat quietly back down with his old pal and resumed his pint as if nothing had happened.

            The moral of the tale: Bullies are weak when confronted head on, especially by a real man trying to enjoy a quiet pint. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  4. I can just picture Kevin and Rupert in the gym oiling each other up and comparing muscles before getting down to a bit of wrestling. It’s the love that dare not speak it’s name.


  5. Yes i must admit that scene was the kinda situation i was seeing Kevin and Rupert in. 🙂


  6. This stalking MacMahon woman is the epitome of “obsessive, delusion and odd”. “Vindictive,dangerous and criminal” even.
    Certainly pushing the envelope.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Just got an angry reply from Mel Ve about that ‘Hands Off Hampstead’ comment, which I’d kindly passed on to her, lol…

    Naturally, as predicted, Mel has now removed HOH’s comment from the video page. HOH, by the way, stands by every word s/he said.


    • “I have never read the Hoaxtead blog ever. I only get reports about what is written there…”

      Sooo, kudos on your thorough research skills, Mel. It’s so reassuring to know that the damning reports you broadcast on the worldwide web are based on hearsay!


    • So much for her being open to any questions but says “i can’t even be bothered to validate or explain the truth”. No point in asking her anything then.

      Liked by 1 person

    • “It is clear you are invested in a certain point of view and nothing I will say will make any difference.”

      Yeah? Well, now you know how we feel, Mel!


    • “I have never read the Hoaxtead Research blog ever…so I never saw an invitation.”

      Is that so, Mel? And I’ve never read your fucking Facebook page ever, so I never saw YOUR invitation.

      Your move, bitch…


    • She’s spectacularly dishonest. But unsurprisingly so. – As Is suggested earlier, she’s playing to a target audience of fools, and will just ‘throw shapes’ to keep them watching the birdie. Truth and facts are meaningless to her. She trades in grotesque fantasy and is just trying keep the illusion going. The woman’s a crook, that’s all.


  8. She was wrong about Kevin Annett but totally believed him at the time. She believed in the Dutch woman Toos and later had to admit that she had been wrong there also. How long until she realises she is totally wrong about Hampstead as well? Not a great track record there Mel Ve.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is much worse than simply being wrong about kevin annett and toos, mel said she had been one of 32 jurors that were involved in a court case, now she says it never happened, so she lied and committed fraud, she also says that toos was lying from the beginning and was coaching her daughter and changing her story. mel is on video from a few years ago saying toos is the most consistent witness she has heard and her evidence would hold in any criminal court. Thats two times Mel has blatantly lied and committed fraud. the fact her judgement is awful is bad enough but these outright lies and scams are something much worse, surely there is scope for criminal charges?


  9. Pingback: The Rupert Files: Girls, girls, girls! | HOAXTEAD RESEARCH

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