If you’re like us, you’d never heard of Rupert Q. before he turned up on Angela Fag-Ash Disney’s Skype in all his twitchy glory a couple of weeks ago. Oh, there was that one video on Hoaxtead he made a year or so ago, but to be honest it really wasn’t on our radar.
Now, suddenly, Q*Bert is the pet lap-dog of the Hoaxtead set: they just can’t seem to get enough of him! Or at least, Angie can’t—in fact, she’s so smitten with him (and his apparent ties to the Conspiraloon di tutti Conspiraloons, Alex Jones) that she was willing to toss €1,000 into the pot to get Q*Bert over here to…well, that’s not totally clear, really.
To lead a cadre of torch-wielding toothless local yokels in a raid on leafy Hampstead? To do his legendary ‘comedy routine’ before an audience of tens, in an effort to beef up troop morale?
We just don’t know.
We do know a few things about Q*Bert himself, though, thanks to this fascinating video that comes to us courtesy of our friends at McKenzies Devils:
We can now definitively say that Q*Bert…
- Is not Cozy Powell or anything like him;
- He’s not a Blair Witch Project-style movie director, though his camera technique does have that vomit-inducing vertiginous feeling;
- He’s not a comic genius, though he does have a lot of drunk friends who can’t sing;
- He’s not the star of his own cooking/porn show;
- He’s not a great activist;
- He’s about as good at faking ‘English accents’ as Dick Van Dyke was in Mary Poppins;
..and oh, so much more!
So go make some popcorn…no, scratch that. Go make some double-strength coffee. You’re going to need it, to stay awake through Q*Bert’s escapades. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!