With all this talk about Angela Fag-Ash Disney’s various lies, half-truths, and scams, it’s tempting to imagine that the Hampstead hoax is still going strong. But our team has been checking in on some of the usual suspects, and we’ve discovered that the vast majority of them seem to have dropped Hoaxtead altogether.
Even former stalwarts such as Code/Guidance 2222 have hopped off the Hoaxtead train: perhaps it was that last interview with Abe that finally tipped it for him. But checking his YouTube channel, he’s posted nothing new on the topic for a couple of months now. That’s got to be some sort of record for Abe’s ex-Fart-Sniffer in Chief.
Where are they now?
Here’s a quick run-down of what’s become of some of the more prominent Hoaxtead pushers:
Charlotte Alton Ward (aka Jacqui Farmer): forcibly retired following her ill-advised aligning with certifiable nutter David Sh*rter (aka ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’). When HWSNBN tossed a grenade into the Sooper Seekrit Facebook Groop™, Charlotte stood by him, earning the wrath of the majority of her former fans and becoming persona non grata amongst the Hoaxtead mob. Last we heard, Charlotte was huddled in her hideout in Suriname, licking her wounds. No, we mean literally licking them. She’s odd like that.
Kevin Weaver, aka Kevin Justice, aka Kevin WeAreChange, aka Kevin Troofer: Does anyone actually care? Oh, all right. When last seen, Kevin Whatever was busily flogging paranoid anti-Illuminati rants like this:
Araya Soma, aka Araya Manna: This menstrual blood-sipping menace has dropped out of sight since losing her shit with Abe and letting him know where to get off. When she’s not working in a second-hand clothing shop in Glastonbury or smoking dope with her faux-hippie friends, she’s now mostly into flat-earth conspiracies, neo-Nazism, and impassioned defences of Hitler. Poor girl. Perhaps some day she’ll get her head on straight.
Christine Ann Sands, aka the Polymilf Poet: Who could forget Christine’s iron-lunged performance outside Christ Church in Hampstead last year? Not us, that’s for sure. Our ears are still ringing. Questions abounded amongst the Hoaxtead True Believers: was Christine a CIA or FBI plant? Why did she claim to represent the hacker group Anonymous? These days, Christine can still be found at her ‘HAMPSTEAD! CHRIST CHURCH! DAT-CAM!’ blog, but she mostly posts things like ‘Hilary tied to human sacrifice, guilty of murder’. Oh, and she’s given herself a promotion: she’s now ‘General Sands’, if you please. Last we heard, she was buggering off to Ecuador to have a chat with God. We are not making this up.
Neelu Berry, aka Neelu Chaudhari, aka Ved Chaudhari: Following her recent performance in court, in which she shouted at the judge, waved papers at him, alleged that her charges had already been dropped, and then refused to enter the prisoner’s dock, Neelu has been surprisingly quiet on the subject of Hoaxtead. This is probably because her legal team has impressed upon her the importance of shutting the hell up for once, but we’ll take it. Her next court appearance will be 8th April, when she’ll be sharing centre stage with Sabine to face charges of witness intimidation. After that date, all bets are off.
Abraham Christie and Ella Gareeva Draper: Yes, even the child-abusing couple at the centre of it all has been surprisingly silent of late. Sure, they’ve put up a couple of videos on their YouTube channel—one about the joys of cannabis, another about the pineal gland, and something about devil tattoos from a month ago—but mostly, they’ve been mum on the case they started in the first place. Even their blog has gone quiet. Have they decided to cut their losses? We suppose time will tell….but with viewing numbers like theirs, we wouldn’t be feeling terribly encouraged.
Do you have a favourite Hoaxtead hawker you’d like us to update? Just let us know, and we’ll do our best!