We’ve been under attack by a hacker for the past few days.
Actually, that’s a gross overstatement. Let us rephrase: we’ve been watching some fool with the hacking skills of a head of cabbage attempt to find various ways to break into the blog, presumably because they want to take it over for their own nefarious ends.
It’s been pretty funny, actually.
It started a couple of days ago, with that fake ‘we’re from Hampstead and you are very bad people and please go away now because we said so’ post. It contained an email address to which we were invited to respond. Recognising a blatant phishing attempt when we saw one, we laughed and respectfully declined.
This, we presume, was intended to be the proverbial shot across the bow.
When we didn’t immediately pack it in and close the blog, we had a couple more comments from the same person, this time calling herself ‘Jacqui’. The last one was a bit telling:
“Goodbye blog. Your time is up! I’ve been told 48 hours and it’s gone!”
Told? Really? By whom?
Meanwhile, we noticed this note from Tina ‘Hillbilly’ Kachina to Gabriella Barney, one of our readers who posts on Facebook:
Hmm. So both Tina and Kris are singing from the same hymn book, presumably one they found lying around on the Sooper Seekrit Facebook Groop™ where they hang out with the likes of Angie Fag-Ash Disney, Alan ‘Biker’ Boyes, Jim ‘Lalalala I Can’t Hear You’ McMenamin, Rupert ‘I’d totes join the CIA’ Q, and Maria ‘Let’s Kidnap Some Kids Today’ MacMahon.
Given that Rupert had bragged to Angie that he could totally hack us if he felt like it, it didn’t take long to figure out who the brainstem of the operation was.
The next hack attempt was another try at phishing: this one was a shortened URL embedded in a comment that seemed intended to be friendly. Despite its manifest cleverness, El Coyote’s hand slipped while he was approving the comment, and the URL fell off. Oh, well.
So. We weren’t falling for the old ‘click this totally believable link’ trick; so Rupe…that is, our Totally Anonymous Hacker decided to up the ante.
He tried the trick of embedding some sooper-seekrit hacking code in a comment of ginormous proportions—like, three pages worth of this:
Sadly, that was another no-go.
For one thing, El Coyote didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. He knows a trojan horse attack when he sees one. Also: that trick doesn’t work on the latest version of WordPress.com. D’oh!
The latest attempt was even funnier: some amateurish code stuck into a comment, kinda like this:
Pro tip: as the proposed victims of this brilliant hack attack, we’re not supposed to be able to see the code.
That’s kind of a basic, actually. So Ruper….that is, Totally Anonymous Hacker, next time you decide to hack a blog, maybe you should keep your cunning plan under your hat until you’ve actually succeeded, and then surprise your little friends with it.
That way, you’ll look like slightly less of a prat. (Not much less, mind. We can’t perform miracles here.)