Abe fails at…well, everything, really.

A few of us were down at the pub the other night, and the subject of Abe’s (and possibly Ella’s) blog came up. Comments ranged from “looks like it was put together by a trained chimpanzee” to “what’s he hoping to accomplish with it?” to “does he actually even get what a blog is supposed to be?”

The dismal failure of the blog got us thinking: has Abe ever succeeded in anything he’s put his hand to?

As a father…Abe wouldn’t have won any awards. He beat his children (and received a police caution at least once); his step-children from from his first marriage report that he made their lives a living hell, and one of his children died of an overdose. Hmm.

Well, what about as a husband then? Oh. Nope. In fact, he beat his wife so badly that he put her in hospital. To this day, she cannot speak of him.

Abe’s business ventures are marked by impulsivity, grandiosity, foolish decisions…and failure.

For example, he sold his family home to raise cash to start a business trading in precious metals. Apparently no one explained to him that he was supposed to ‘buy low and sell high’.


As a result, his family was left homeless. Good going, Abe.

And then there was his hemp seed business, in which he planned to package hemp seed and send it on to outlets for sale. During the process of setting that up, he discovered that the retail world had entered the computer era, and barcodes would be required so his product could be scanned. No biggie, right?

At least, until he discovered (gasp!) that the assigned barcode had a ‘666’ in it.

Ack! Abort mission! Run away!!

Seriously. We are not kidding.

Abe’s criminal career wasn’t exactly stellar, either. Four words sum this up: ’64 charges. 37 convictions’. Someone needs to point out to him that the point of being a criminal is not to get caught.

And let’s not forget the biggest failure of all, his attempt to ‘help’ his girlfriend Ella by ensuring her ex never had access to their children again. Obviously, the best way to do that was to accuse the ex of being the leader of a huge satanic ritual abuse cult, right?

Yeah, that worked like a bleedin’ charm, didn’t it?

So here’s the challenge: does anyone know of anything—any aspect of his life—in which Abe has not been a Grade A, Number 1, Certified Failure? (And we’re not counting his success at being a psychopath. That would be cheating.)

doing it wrong

33 thoughts on “Abe fails at…well, everything, really.

  1. Years ago pillocks such as Abe ‘the spoonman’ Christie’s fantasies and ego tripping tales would have been confined to the ale swilling locals in the village pub….unfortunately, the internet has given twats like him the vessel to spread these fantasies and lies. It is a bit like giving a chimp a hand grenade really!! giving Abe ‘the spoonman’ Christie a computer to play with.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Abe has been pretty much delusional for years now, as the ‘666 barcode’ episode shows. Hardly surprising that he’s made a hash of everything he’s touched, really.


    • Very true. Though not so good at making it look as though the comments were never there. I.e. he leaves up answers to questions that are long gone, making himself look even crazier than he actually is.


  2. Where Hempseed Organics was run from: Christie’s council flat https://www.google.hu/maps/place/15+Lister+Court+Yoakley+Road+London+N16+0BE/@51.5637231,-0.0808118,3a,75y,232.42h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m4!1sR71ydBHK0m0ODxFU3bdsiw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0xc043b5fd4cdf9fc0!6m1!1e1

    Company Hemp Seed Organics Limited
    Nationality British
    Register / Sign in to see this information
    Date of Birth September 04, 1957
    Abraham Jemal Christie was the company director of Hemp Seed Organics Limited. He started there in 1996 at 39 years of age. He is now likely retired as there is no record of his involvment with an active company.

    Company Information
    Company Dissolved
    The only company that Abraham Jemal Christie is involved in has been dissolved. More information about the company as follows:
    Company Name and Location Position Date of Appointment
    Hemp Seed Organics Limited
    Company Director
    July 01, 1996
    Note: Dissolved companies are undergoing the last stages of liquidation, including the termination of all contacts, before they are removed from the national register.

    Service Address 15 Lister Court
    Yoakley Road London N16 0BE
    MapStreet View

    Abraham Jemal Christie (Hemp Seed Organics Limited)
    15 Lister Court
    Yoakley Road
    London N16 0BE

    Liked by 1 person

  3. martin mason
    July 12, 2015 at 4:41 pm
    As someone who actually HAS ‘walked the walk’ of academia I can tell you he is lying or deluded about his ‘honorary PhD for instance…

    Even as an experienced lecturer, outside the academic institution I once taught in I personally am no more able to award – or even instigate the award of – a degree than my cat is… Even working from within a legitimate seat of learning there is such a thing as academic rigour. It is by charter and due process that such places make their awards or via some external academic organisation. No individual academic is in a position to simply ‘write out a PhD’ for another person. Abe Christie’s ‘honorary’ PhD – supposedly awarded to him by a doctorate-holder whose own provenance is yet to be found credible – is no more valid as an academic qualification than a voucher from the local supermarket for 10p off a litre of petrol!


    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am wondering if Abe’s son’s death – and his shock and grief associated with this – triggered a psychotic break in him, maybe similar to what happened to Neely after the death of her niece.

    Brief psychotic disorder
    Trauma and stress can cause a short-term psychosis (less than a month’s duration) known as brief psychotic disorder. Major life-changing events such as the death of a family member or a natural disaster have been known to stimulate brief psychotic disorder in patients with no prior history of mental illness…

    Prognosis for brief psychotic disorder is quite good; for schizophrenia, less so. Generally, the longer and more severe a psychotic episode, the poorer the prognosis is for the patient. Early diagnosis and treatment are critical to improving outcomes for the patient across all psychotic disorders.

    Interestingly, on the same page:

    Shared psychotic disorder, also known as folie à deux or psychosis by association, is a relatively rare delusional disorder involving two (or more) people with close emotional ties. In the West, shared psychosis most commonly develops between two sisters or between husband and wife, while in Japan the most common form involves a parent and a son or daughter. Shared psychosis occasionally involves an entire nuclear family.
    Psychosis is characterized by the following symptoms:
    Delusions. Those delusions that occur in schizophrenia and its related forms are typically bizarre (i.e., they could not occur in real life). Delusions occurring in delusional disorder are more plausible, but still patently untrue. In some cases, delusions may be accompanied by feelings of paranoia.

    Treatment of shared psychotic disorder involves separating the affected persons from one another as well as using antipsychotic medications and psychotherapy.


    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s possible, but my understanding is that Abe’s problems with the law date back to his teens. Of course those records are sealed, quite properly; but it does speak to a pattern of behaviour.


    • I’ve wondered that about Sabine as well. I don’t discount what her mother must have gone through in Dresden- unimaginable hell. Did she unintenionaly pass on that torment to her child?. Sabine does seem to be full of suppressed anger

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Re-reading the Judgement I see for the first time that Ella’s parents thought the Cult claims were rubbish. That’s pretty damning for Ella. Simply cannot believe why she went along with this hoax. How could she treat her own children in this manner?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Happy 666 Day, Abe! | HOAXTEAD RESEARCH

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