Charlotte goes on a whingeing binge

We’re all probably a bit too familiar with Charlotte Ward Alton’s writings, which seem to have two speeds: petulantly aggrieved or slyly self-aggrandising. Neither is particularly attractive.

Since announcing the impending demise of her slop-bucket of a blog (tonight at the witching hour, if she’s telling the truth), though, her self-indulgent whingeing has hit industrial proportions: she’s been cranking out her ‘last words’ as though she’s being paid by the word.

Here’s just a tiny sampling of Charlotte’s long list of grievances (in no particular order):

Oh, honey. Really?

First: no cult. Sorry to disappoint, but there you are. There is no cult, never has been, and the fact that she can’t accept that says a great deal more about Charlotte than it does about any of the residents of Hampstead (or us, for that matter).

Second: The Ham & High didn’t have to ‘concoct lies’ about Belinda and Sabine. Those two fraud artists made the front pages on their own, with no help from anyone.

Nice try, Charlotte, but no banana.

First, RD has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with this blog. Never has. As far as we’re aware, he’s living a quiet life, attempting to recover from the brutal harassment he’s received for the past year, and we wish him well, but he’s nothing to do with us.

And second, for the umpteenth time, we didn’t hack your email, your computer, your blog…none of us knows the first thing about hacking. Charlotte left plenty of clues strewn about that made identifying her quite easy, once we started looking. It was her own carelessness that helped us determine who and where she is.

No mystery there at all.

Um, how can we break this to poor Charlotte? Let’s try to spell it out in words she can understand: when parents have children in the same grade at the same school, there is a very good chance that they will know one another. They might even (gasp!) socialise from time to time.

Similarly, teachers at the same school probably know one another too. And might even meet up for a pub night, if you can imagine. Mind-blowing, we know.

We’ll pause to allow Charlotte and her cronies to absorb this startling bit of info’.

…

Ready? All right, let’s continue:

Hahahahaha! Seriously?

Sounds like Charlotte has been indulging in a bit too much wacky baccy, and has forgotten a critical detail: she posted the Google Drive where her crap manuscript was located. Like Sabine, she seems not to understand that posting one’s Google Drive publicly constitutes ‘sharing’ online.

We’d say ‘live and learn’, but sadly there’s very little chance of that.

What? None of the people Charlotte harassed by email deigned to respond to her weird allegations? And not a single one responded with a message of support to her campaign?! How utterly shocking!

Then again, most of us don’t respond to emails claiming to be from Nigerian princes with huge amounts of money that they wish to park in our bank accounts, either.

It’s called ‘sanity’, Charlotte. You might want to get some.

Ah, the hilarity! Stop, Charlotte, our ribs are aching!

Hoaxtead Research was formed by a group of people who are deeply offended by the sheer stupid malevolence of the Hoaxtead hawkers.

That’s it, that’s all. None of us live in Hampstead, none of us are members of any cult. And we’re certainly not getting paid for anything that we do. We take time out of our normal lives to battle Hoaxtead because we feel a moral imperative to put an end to the false accusations the Hoaxtead hawkers continue to make, and the pain they continue to inflict on innocent people.

As for Hamster Research somehow shutting down the David Icke thread FOR MONTHS…perhaps we blinked at the wrong time and missed this momentous event? We do recall the entire forum going down for repairs for a couple of weeks at one point, but surely that cannot be what Charlotte is referring to?

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There’s more…much more…but honestly, trying to convince someone like Charlotte is a truly futile endeavour. Thank goodness, we won’t have to do it any longer.