Abe’s new career: ‘Big guns lawyer’?

Abe has embarked on a new career path: perhaps inspired by Charlotte Ward Alton and her famous pretend ‘Big Guns Lawyer’, he’s started writing to Joe Kent at the BBC, calling himself ‘Legal Team’, and protesting that Victoria Derbyshire’s interview with Ricky Dearman was unfair and somehow ‘illegal’.

Yes, that interview. The one that ran on 20 April, 2015. Six months ago.

Here’s the beginning of his Drifloud-like email:

Abe to BBC-2015-10-15‘Lubricious’? We’re quite sure we never heard Mr Dearman use that term. (‘Lubricious: offensively displaying or intended to arouse sexual desire; smooth and slippery with oil or a similar substance’ ~ OED)

We believe the word ‘Legal Team’ is searching for is ‘ludicrous’.

Here is Mr Kent’s response:

Abe-Joe Kent-BBC-2015-10-15So….six months late, and Abe & Ella’s crack ‘Legal Team’ writes to the wrong person. Well done, Abe. Slow clap.

Never one to admit defeat, however, Abe pushes on:

Abe-Joe Kent-BBC-2-2015-10-15What prompted Abe to write (the wrong person) (six months after the show in question)? JUSTICE, that’s what!

Excuse us as we pick ourselves up from the floor. Haven’t laughed this hard in weeks.

He follows up with a killer blow: “You do work for the BBC….”

Yes, Abe, and so does the person who mops the floors in their mailroom. That doesn’t make them the appropriate person to contact six months after the fact with spurious claims from a pretend lawyer about how they’ve misrepresented a legal case and will be made to pay.

Abe to Joe Kent BBC-2015-10-15In a spelling-challenged, typo-ridden diatribe, he tries to exert the full force of his prodigious mental capacity upon the mighty BBC. We’re certain they took this with all due seriousness.

Don’t they teach ‘big guns lawyers’ to write in English any longer?

Abe follows this masterpiece with more of the same, this time to some lucky Labour party members:

Abe to BBC-labour leaders-2015-10-15Pro tip: Lawyers don’t generally say things like, “I would not normally write to you, but we have been failed by the courts, the court of appeal, the police, the ipcc, the JCIO, the historic child abuse inquiry to name a few”. And even if they did, don’t you think a real lawyer would at least capitalise ‘Court of Appeal’ and ‘IPCC’?

Abe follows up (yes, this is still the same email, which has now grown to Drifloud-esque proportions) with some paragraphs which we feel might, indeed, have come from Ella’s lawyers. They’re mostly spelt correctly, and they seem to reference, you know, legal shit and all.

However, he spoils the effect by (in usual Abe & Ella style) over-egging the pudding: he just cannot seem to help inserting his own editorial comment.

Have a look for yourself:

Abe-fake legal letter to BBC-1Abe-fake lawyers letter to BBC-2 Abe-fake lawyers letter to BBC-3 Abe-fake lawyers letter to BBC-4Abe-fake lawyers letter to BBC5Note on the above: Are lawyers in the habit of alleging ‘police corruption and judicial bias’ in emails they send to the BBC?

Abe-fake lawyers letter to BBC-6Honestly, if you’ve hung in this far, you should get some sort of medal.

But seriously, this ‘lubriciously’ over-long email takes the cake, even by Abe standards. It’s rambling, pompous, full of lies and half-truths, and ultimately leads nowhere. Much like Abe himself, come to think of it.

the-things-hollow-it-goes-on-forever-and-oh-my-god-its-full-of-fail

24 thoughts on “Abe’s new career: ‘Big guns lawyer’?

  1. Good grief he’s even dumber than I thought. Why is he writing to the BBC & MPs etc? Doesn’t he know the courts act independently? Perhaps he’s never heard of the Separation of Powers.
    I’ve encountered these types before. When there is a court decision they do not like ( the failed appeal as well) they really think they can get the judgement changed some other way rather than actually going through the courts again,
    And to even try that of course, they would need to come back to the UK. Game over.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What I find interesting about Abe is his incorrect assumption that he’s actually got the brains god gave geese. He might be devious, but he’s far from clever.

      Like

  2. The idiot has no idea what he is doing!

    Even if anyone took him seriously there are no proper demands for them to respond to.

    Abe is totally lubricious – sorry ludicrous!

    Liked by 1 person

    • What that lot probably don’t realise is that most of the time the people Abe or Charlotte send emails to, will simply forward them to the Police, just increasing the cases against them!
      So let them go ahead with their crazy shenanigans and we can all continue to have a good laugh at their expense.

      ..and this post has given me my biggest laugh of the day!😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If I were Mr Aseem Taj, I don’t think I would be very happy right now. Because if that email had really been sent by him:

    ‘ … who I act for in my capacity as her solicitor…’

    …he could be facing action from his professional body for leaking stuff about confidential court matters. So Abe and Ella, by putting this email up purporting to be from him is a real breach of trust. I wonder if he will continue to want to represent Ella.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Who was their solicitor in April?

    The legal bits are decidedly odd. Saying the judge is a criminal, perverting the cause of justice is criminal, is an odd thing for a solicitor to write.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I thought she did not have any solicitor post Jan or Feb, that was how Sabine came into the picture, and it says she did not have representation for four months in the fraud email too.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gotta love this comment from Bri (anyone know who that is?) on Charlotte’s blog:

    “Various things can cause RAD. Any type of blunt penetrative force, such as enemas. Maybe this would be a good area to “research”. A witness told the court that Ella gave the children enemas. In court, Pauffley asked Dr Hodes whether enemas could cause RAD, and Dr Hodes conceded that it would be a possible cause.

    It’s October. How can you call yourself a researcher but claim to not have heard about the enemas, which were mentioned in Pauffleys report. It’s no wonder your support and readership has dropped. Your supporters will be on other forums and YT finding out information which you have completely missed. While you bang on about all kinds of irrelevant crap.

    But hey, you still have more support than Ella and Abes own blog, lol.”

    http://www.hampsteadresearch.com/2015/10/15/why-did-ella-not-notice-the-anal-abuse/#comments

    And Charlotte’s reply is vintage whine:

    “First, Bri, how do you know about my support and readership?! It’s up, actually. And I’m seeing lots of traffic heading over to E and A’s blog.

    Hands up – I’ve made mistakes but I have been keeping this blog going pretty much single-handedly. I’ve hardly had time to do any research. What have you been doing? Bitching by the look of things. I suppose you are a cult apologist.”

    Man, I love this place🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. On a lighter note beloved Neelu has announced the pending Return of Jesus Christ which apparently was precipitated by that famous visit to some Hell Fire caves with that loony dowser dame.
    Apparently lightening & thunder on that stormy day ( very unusual weather for Britain) meant The Devil had been banished by no lesser personage than Sherrif Sands who divined some pretty serious omens in the dark clouds.
    So watch out you evil satanist apologists as JC is coming and Neelu has a direct line to him. There’ll be million pound liens all round.

    Liked by 1 person

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