We’ve found the book that started it all!

For months now, we’ve been claiming that there’s no such thing as human sacrifice, that the Hampstead ‘cult abuse’ claims must obviously be fake, and that no evidence has ever been found to verify the claims of ‘satanic ritual abuse’ that periodically seem to flood the internet.

Well, today we hang our heads in shame. Clearly, we were mistaken, and we apologise to all concerned for our horrible error.

To our chagrin, a faithful reader recently sent us a copy of this book, which has completely turned our heads around (a bit like that girl in The Exorcist, which we now believe was probably a documentary):

Human Sacrifice book-1You can only imagine our shock and dismay at discovering that the venerable and well-known Lord Bing Shipley has actually written a book detailing the finer points of human sacrifice.

Human sacrifice book-2OMIGOD, even David Mosely himself has read this book! Our humiliation knows no bounds.

Oh, it turns out that there are a few more books in this series. If you believed even one word of the above, may we recommend the following:

How to Dress YourselfLet us know if you need help with the big words.

p.s. If you’re still having trouble, you might want to check out this article, which explains it all. Then again, if you’re still having trouble you won’t believe the article anyway. Oh, never mind.

20 thoughts on “We’ve found the book that started it all!

  1. ‘Michelle Remembers’ was very influential on the whole satanic panic phenomenon. Keelan talks about it in one of his videos.

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  2. I knew Lord Bing Shipley as a child. He was a strange, withdrawn boy with thick blond hair and a premature mustache. His father was Lord Shipley of Wigan, and his mother a common barmaid from Kent. The latter led to him being bullied at public school. I think this is why he took an interest in witchcraft, and human sacrifice in particular. Come to think of it Fortesque Major and Brown Minor never made it to the school reunion. Makes you think, even if you’re not used to it.

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  3. Come to think of it Bing never recovered from when the school drama department did The Crucible. The drama master was one of the early Method actors and insisted that the boys actually raise Satan in the assembly hall during the first performance, purely in the interest of generating authentic feeling of course.
    The headmaster’s hair turned white overnight and Matron got naked and ran amok. By Monday most people were over it except for Bing who spent weeks running round the quad shouting ‘I saw Bridget Bishop dance with the devil’. Bridget always denied it and continued to run the very excellent tuck shop in the village. (Shall I shut up now?)

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  4. Bing’s exam results were terrible after that and he didn’t get into Cambridge like his peers and so never got invited to all the MI5 parties. He must have felt left out. I didn’t see him for many years and then came across him in the back garden of some woman’s flat in Highgate one day, where he was involved in some deep psychic communion with a cat called Eddy. He really was peculiar by then and mumbling about ley lines and dowsing. I took him out for a beer and we went to see Karl Marx’s grave and he started shouting about how Charlotte didn’t love him anymore. I think it was this final rejection that pushed him over the edge.
    No wonder he got into human sacrifice instead of the Civil Service like the rest of us.

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  5. Yet another in Charlotte’s long line of shattered hearts. Tragic, really.
    BTW. have you ever noticed that Marx’s grave looks very much like a jack-in-the-box?


  6. It does indeed. I wouldn’t go there now having learned from Mel Ve about all the strange things that go on there. Wasn’t she in the Spice Girls?

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