Are you feeling down in the dumps, wondering what this world’s coming to? Do you wish you could do something to turn the world’s frown upside down?
No, nor do we.
But Neelu and her merry gang of lunatics have decided to take matters into their own hands, to ‘invert all the mistakes in the dictionaries’ (whatever that means).
Along with fellow fruit loops Barry Lyndon (no, not the one from the Thackeray novel, the one who decorates his bedroom in clippings about UFOs) and Penny Pullen (we’re sure you remember her astonishing ability to determine the future via pendulum dowsing…PEN-dulum, geddit?), she’s formed the UK Crystal Team.
Because of course she is.
Their goal: “Starting with “OM” prayers in the heart of Satan in Parliament Square on behalf of humanity to remove all satanity on Mother Earth”.
Their first mission, at Parliament Square: “The first crystal for foetuses, babies, birthing mums, suckling mums to be freed from slavery, satanity, satanic rituals of cannibalism, vampirism, rapes, sodomy, mental, physical, psychological torture”. The second crystal (rose quartz, for anyone interested) went out to “Women, wives, girls, aunts, sisters, neices, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, grand-daughters, great grand daughters….”, while Crystal 3 was for all the “boys, men, husbands, dads, grand-dads, great grand-dads, nephews, cousins…” and Crystal 4 was chucked into the River Thames for “the minerals, water, earth, fire, air”.
Glad to see they’re covering all their bases.
Well done, ladies and gent! We’re sure the satanists are quivering in their…robes. Or whatever.